Supernatural Body Wash

Helloooo

So. ... Guess what?

Today, I am getting baptized! I have been baptized before, but as I was a kid and didn't really have as much consciousness of what I was doing (*OOoh, what's that? We're going scuba diving? OK!!* Lol, jk.), it did not really count. But today... Oh, Today? Today definitely counts!

I never put it on here, but at the beginning of last month, literally, on April 1st, a major part of my journey took place... I was up doing Bible study at 6:00 or so in the morning, laer into my studying, It happened. I was baptized---in the Holy Spirit. For those who don't really know what this means, I received God's Holy Spirit, something vital to a Christian life (it's like GPS/best friend 4ever/confidant/guidance counselor etc. for you life basically. Lol.). And just like the Bible said, it took over me, and... yes... I began to speak in tongues. My body got cold, I was shaking and moving, and then...it just happened. I felt my lips moving and my mouth forming sounds my mind could not translate. I had no control over the occurrence, yet I was aware of myself (sometimes ppl aren't). It was...it was wonderful.

I'd been waiting for this for SO long. I thought I would never get it. So many prayers, ponders, so much confusion. In the previous months I answered to alter calls, prayers and whatnot, but still....it all fell flat on my spirit. But there was a reason, and deep down, I knew it. Unforgiveness. On the day before, that is march 31st, I went to see a guest pastor that had come for my church's month long conference ( it was AMAZING!! by the way.). I went to talk to him for counseling after there was an alter call the previous Sunday for people wanting to receive the Holy spirit, and I answered to it but...well, you know what happened. Nothing. Disappointing? Um, yes.

I spoke to him about what I thought the problem was, and he told be clean and simple what I had to do... forgive. But it was so hard! I've tried and tried before to just let go of how I feel about how my family feels about me (little bit of a mental tongue twister, I know). But he said "So what?". "Who cares what they think? Once you know who you are, they can say whatever they want to say." ...Once I know who I am. Hm. And how can I know that without knowing the One who made me and His purpose for doing such a thing? I can't. Therefore it was time to face the real issue, once again (as I've realized this before). He told me to go into a room and pray, and forgive them and to ask God to forgive me for holding on to that grudge for so long. I did. I really did, with all sincerity. And then I came back to his office and he prayed for me, and I left.

The next day, April 1st, 2011 (a few weeks ago), I woke up early for some reason. I decided to pick up my Bible and do my Bible study. And then it came to me to ask again. Ask God again to give me the HS. I mean, I had done what He asked, right? I forgave. And though it is a process, I let go, and was forgiven. So I asked for it again, I laid my hand on my head while reading my scripture, and I asked for it again. I started crying... nothing happened at first. But I wasn't going to lose hope that quickly. I kept asking, claiming in fact, since it is something to be "receive", remaining it was already given. I asked for utterance ("tongues", the evidence), and nothing happened...yet. I kept claiming it, while still crying out of a heart filled with desperacy as a last resort. And then... it happened.

I got cold and tingling (some get hot, but 4 whatever reason, I got cold). I started throwing my head, body, back and forth, at first I was in control, then I could sense myself losing it. But I didn't want to regain it, I had to let go and let God, literally. And then it came, the "words", the sounds. My "spirit man" spoke for over an hour. It was...amazing. I can't really describe it that well right now for those who know nothing about this. But if you don't know God, get to. And then accept Him sincerely, and when His spirit visits you...ha...you will have no doubts left. Trust.

The best I can describe it as is this: you are a spirit (soul), you have a body and a mind (conscious, emotions, reason, etc.) as well. Tongues is the outward expression of your "spirit man", as we call it (soul). Because it is not you speaking from your mind, it doesn't make any sense to your mind, it is in fact gibberish, because they are not real words, they are expressions in the form of sound (Like when you hit your toe and say something like "GahhHhGh!" That's not a word, but it's a direct expression of the feeling).

When you receive the Holy Spirit (you have to receive it, as it is being given to you), it mingles with your spirit and infuses it with what it holds which causes it to react in a joyful manner, and then it wants to express itself.

You, being in control of your spirit (yourself) can either allow or disallow this to happen. If you give yourself over to this urge, your "spirit-man", having connected to the only tool you can use to express yourself audibly--your mouth, speaks. Your mind is now "disconnected" from your mouth, and your spirit is "hooked up". Therefore making tongues more effective in prayer than any earthly language, because it is the pure expression of your feelings to God, without the use of intermediary functions called words--which already have meanings allocated to them, which makes it difficult sometimes to "say what you really mean" when you are talking to God.

Yeah, I know I just got all analytical, but that's kinda how I am.

So far as what it feels like, man... It's pretty amazing. I understand why the Word says He uses it as an evidence that you are filled with the HS. Because who will experience that and still not know that they have it?? Yeah...exactly. Just as no man (human) can express your feelings for you, they can also not be convicted of a faith for you. It's just one of those things you have to experience yourself. *Siiighhh*, I'm in love.

SO! Yes, today I am getting baptized (baptized- i.e. "immersed") in water. And I am quite happy for it :). the Lord loves me. Wow. I hope the sky opens up and I hear a voice from heaven just like Jesus did. Lol. Wouldn't that be AWESOME!? "O.F.C.J. ...*breathes*... I am your Father!" LOL. I'm so silly. K, I have to go finish preparing my outfit.

Peace out ;^D

O.F.C.J.