Overwhelming Fullness Like Carbonated Joy

Oh ya ya ya ya, Ah love my life! : Unchartered Waters

2012-01-14T12:52:00.003-05:00

Hello All!

I feel like I'm studying abroad. Hahaha ^o^. I, right now, am moved from the place I was before. Yes yes, I know, -- I've been sort of a Nomad lately. Like for the past year. I just moved today from someone's apartment where I had been living for 5 months--- after having only expected to stay there for 1 weekend. Yeah, big difference and a long story. I am right now, temporarily staying somewhere else for dollars a day (the other place was free-- I knew the person). I've been looking for a place to stay since August, and I think...well, I'm preparing for that to come true, by the grace of God. But in the meanwhile, I am staying in a rented room now. I found it online on a website a few days ago. I booked it at night. I met a cool girl. And I have all that I own in this state with me now, packed up and in luggage, as it has been for the past year and couple of months

In short, I am excited. Why? Because my adventure is being more adventurous. My journey is becoming more adventurous, and I am excited about my life. I am still working my full time job downtown. I am still much involved in my church and getting involved in other things in the environment around me in general. And guess what? I have SOooo much more clarity on who I am now. God revealed me to me. Who I am, what my purpose is. Now, I am searching exactly how I am going to manifest that. Through what means and what specific shape(s) it will take. I am ... excited. I am excited! life is definitely worth living and I love the God whom I serve, aka, my Father, the best, the One my heart belongs to. I love Him. And I love the life He's given me because it is limitless in its possibilities, Lovely in nature, and endless in its vibrant experiences of adventure. I love adventure. And this one life has sureeeely been an adventure. Hahahah.

See ya later ;)

O.F.C.J.

I Could Really Use...

2011-11-13T02:36:00.016-05:00

A Mentor!!

*Hughhh* (exasperated sigh)
I really wish I had some guidance at this point in my life, and many others too. Things are not going as badly as they could be--but that's not the point. The point is, they're not going as awesomely as they could be. And that's what bothers me. It's like having a bunch of resources, but not knowing exactly how to go about refining and utilizing them to achieve your vision. I hate that. I mean, some of it is my fault, OK, maybe more than some. But still, geez, a little mentorship wouldn't hurt.

My own place to live

So, living in DC is sooooo.... ugh, how do I say this nicely...I can't--Stupid!!! Ok, just had to get that out. It's frustrating because the area is SO ridiculously densely populated and finding an inexpensive apartment seems impossible. GRR! The average 1 bedroom is at least 1000, and definitely more. While I could go ahead and indulge in this price tag, I'd rather save my dollars for better things and find less ridiculously expensive housing. AND-- I really...Oh, really, want to get my own place! I've left the last place I was staying and am now floating in another pond. But my own pond would be thrice as nice. I want my own pond!! Not literally...just a place to call my own :( . But I know I'll get one soon :)).

A Good Friend

So living far from my previous home is hard in some ways. I miss the real estate prices, the scenery, a lot of the lifestyle.... But I also miss having close friends. Here, I've yet to develop any. And while I can call whoever whenever, it's just not the same. First, there's no guarantee they'll pick up, second, face-to-faces provide opportunities more and many more different types of relationship bonding, like: "seeing" how the person is doing, and vise versa, sleep overs, long chats over ice cream or other foods and or beverages, baby showeers, birthday parties, lovely outings, catching exciting looks as you retell a recent event, HHhhhahh, ...O my gosh, I TOtally just made it worse. Stupidness. Lol.

Some Love

OK, so don't think I'm talking about men here, because I'm totally not. OK? But I am talking about that place where you feel like you belong and are quite comfortable with the environment around you. Where others' actions are enacted sincerely for your good, whether that good be to see you smile, to see you succeed, to see you correct yourself when you slipped and messed up big time, or just to--well, see you :). I love that place. Sadly, I haven't had that in like forever, and not just becaue I moved here. But that is a whole 'nother blog post that I'll probably never write. Ha. But though it's something I've seldom (hm, can't remember...) experienced, I would love to have it. Love is a necessity in life, from Jesus(got that just need to learn how to accept it better), from the people around you (Uhh, considering my environment-- need that), and yourself to others (OK, fine, need that too. >:P ). Love is a series of consistently sincere motives from a purified heart, for the pure benefit of other expressed through actions that act as the fulfillment of those motives. This, needless to say, would be awesome right now.

Some clarity

I know on this blog it always seems like I'm asking for clarity, because I am. I need more insight to my "big picture", you know, my life. And while it's sloooowly coming, I know if I quit lolly gagging and stay away from discouragement and complacency, I'll get it quicker than I think possible. Now to pep myself up....

Contentment.

I want it. ...That's it.

So, I tried thinking of some other things I could really use...but that pretty much sums it all up. Everything else would just be a derivative of the things I've already listed. Or maybe it would be the other way around.... Oh well. Of to be productive and try to get some of these things now.

L8r :)

O.F.C.J.

Thoughts On My Health

2011-10-01T21:18:00.006-04:00

Hello ;D

So, I've been thinking about my teeth, as they've been sensitive lately, and getting rid of the sensitivity with a dentist visit. But then I realized I'd have to go through a drilling to do that, and I don;t want my teeth drilled, and filled with non teeth substance. I want my teeth!! So of course as I usually do, I Bing'd the natural ways--if any--of healing cavities or rebuilding enamel or what have you. And, wonderfully so, I found that, of course, it is possible to regenerate your teeth!! Because they heal themselves--that is, as long as you give them what they need to do so, and don't stall the healing with abrasion and erosion from certain foods you eat. I'm so excited!!

It just made me think about how you so many things--everything, is cure-able, heal-able, reversible, using the healing properties of nature---you just have to know how to extract and apply these properties. And what resources to extract them from. I love it. I've read online of some people healing their teeth, it takes years--of course--but just like bones heal (hello!!! teeth are bones too!) teeth heal too, but it takes time.

It makes me happy. I can't wait 'tll I'm a bit more settled in and can experiment with a new, better diet (not like a lose-weight diet--I don't do those, too small!!--but just my general daily diet). They say, not too surprisingly, but pleasantly enlightening, that the way you eat affects how you feel (moods), cope (adapt and respond to situations), and consequentially, your overall outlook. Of course eating right won't fix the test you failed, no, you'll still be sad about that. But!! You may have a more balanced mood and state of mind overall, and therefore make better decisions (like studying more efficiently and effectively and therefore passing your test! Yaaaay.)

I want to try new awesome stuff 9 i have before, but even more so with my hair, mind body, skin, diet, and spiritually (that's a whoooole 'nother story, don't even get me started!).

I'm gonna be soOO gorgeous inside out!!! MuWahaha!! Yay. This require good planning... Hmm.

Ok. That is all for this post.

Ta ta! ;^)

O.F.C.J.

HELLLOO!!

2011-09-26T00:20:00.004-04:00

Oh Hello trolley people. So long since I've seen you!! ^-^. Whose fault? Well...let's not go into blame here. Let's just be grateful that we're together again ^-^.

Oh, blog. with your vivacious splashes of color, and subtle yet tingling-ly (is that a word? It is now! :^D ) refreshing colors that bring life and give life to my page. Oh how I love you so dearly with a part of me that is glad she put so much effort towards creating and designing it. And therefore shall not let it go to waste. Because you know what they say, though it tarries, it will not tarry---i.e. I'm back. Lol. So I see people have been visiting my page from international locations and the U.S. since I've been gone. How nice :). And thank you.

So, how's life. Well... EXCITING AS EVVERRRRRRRRRRR O MY gOSHshshsh!! Lol. really though. The new job is going well, though sometimes I feel myself slipping. I'm picking myself back up though, or shall I say, I have picked myself back up, in faith.

I'm currently searching for something very big (to me) right now.

So much has happened since the weekend of August the 15th. So much. What was meant to be a weekend, has turned into over a month. Sheesh, talk about using 400 years to take a journey of 40 days!!! I am searching for a very big piece of my puzzle. My puzzle of settled-ness.

What is it. Could it be a place to live? Peace of mind? Vision and direction to my destiny? Security? Friendship? Love? Or all of the above? I'll leave you pondering. but I must say, this rollercoaster, though woozy-ing, and vomit-inducing a'time--is not boring. Hahahah.... No, not at all. My life is something else.

This weekend in particular has been very powerful. So many prophetic words have been spoken, and claimed. So much energy. I actually lost my voice a bit. It may seem like the theme of this blog is repetitive and I talk about the same things a lot. But that's only because, well, I do! Haha! It's about my life!! And (umm, as you can see from the gap in posts) I only write when I'm stricken to, and usually what strikes me is my current situation, which, being a process---a marathon, not a sprint--- has been in a similar stage for a while, with gradual progress between phases.

SO, have I made progress? YeSS!! I have more clarity in who I am and what my gifts and abilities are, I have more money, --HalleluJah!! And I'm one more step towards pure independence in living. Thank God!

Now, someone tell me why real estate prices are so expensive up here? Ugh. Makes me wanna go back to the Good Peach. BuhGeez!

L8r Gators,

O.F.C.J. B^)

It's Official.... :)

2011-07-16T12:55:00.010-04:00

Hello!!

I am again... a working woman. It's been a while. Months, and days. But God has done it. The new job starts soon, and it has a lot of responsibility, but I'm excited and ready to go, or will be soon ;).

And you know what this means. I'll be able to move soon. Yes. My own space soon (with roommates, yes, but independent of family). Family has been kind, and I'm grateful, but it's time. It is time. I give all of the thanks, glory, and praise to God Almighty. Thank you Jesus.

That is all, for now. Update you later ;).

O.F.C.J.

P.S. Longer Letter Later

2011-07-14T20:11:00.006-04:00

Hello!

I'm just posting in to say...
that things are happening....
Interesting things are happening. ...And...they're good?
Hm. Might be. Just might be ;)

Also, sister's moving soon. I have to leave in less than 2 weeks. Where am I going?
What's been going on with my situation? Hahaha, a lot; rough, good, and better. And you won't believe just how, or maybe you will. I'm still waiting for --something...and then...depending on your proximity, you may hear a yell of joy (if you haven't already) coming from the north east coast. lol.

Ok, I don't know If I'll be that loud, but I am quite happy though. And still waiting to believe it. Not doubting, just waiting to really hol it in my hands so to speak, you know, really believe it. :)

P.S. Longer letter later.

Muah,

O.F.C.J.

Status Update

2011-06-12T22:49:00.012-04:00

Hello! :)

Here is a recent (as in a few minutes ago) status updated I put on my fb. I typed it because, well, it's true. It's very true. And it feels good to express it! :).

"Hates it when people try to take credit for my progress. Saying they "picked me
up" from where I was, "gave me" the opportunity, "Let me" show my skill.

Darling, Sweet heart, Honey...my destiny is 2 big 4 u 2 pick up, not urs 2give me, & whether u like it
or not, according 2 the command given in Isa 61:1, I would have shined regardless. It's God's
will+initiative+obedience that get me where I am & am going. NOT U."

O.F.C.J.

What's My Business?

2011-06-11T14:28:00.006-04:00

Hello!

So, today is Saturday, a warm one too. This morning started with a networking event I facilitated with the business center I volunteer with here in DC. The event was in the form of a walk and talk around the national Mall area. Connections were made amongst the ppl there nd a lot of meaningful info was given out--just from having women present who had connections to resources.

Well, I myself have been thinking of business lately, when am I not? Lol. But really, right now I a jobless, in a dated situation (living w/my sister who will soon be moving...!!), and reeeallly desiring a more independent life, especially where living arrangements are concerned.
What's stopping me? Well, knowledge. I don't exactly have enough of it--or so I feel-- where my chosen industry is concerned (small business development--sbd*). I know quite a bit, but I don't FEEL ready. You know? and truly, i know i'm not, and cant even imagine starting an sbd biz as a source of main income. pt!! ha!

It's like, as a business advisor extrordinaire, I want to be able to properly advise and answer my clients' questions, and it seems like in order to do that I have to know a lot of information because, well, I do! It's a bit intimidating because if I am to be successful, I have to learn all of this info.

I know it is really important to know my niche so I don't overload myself as a jack of all trades, and end up falling flat as a master of none. But I do want to be appealing to various types of small businesses. I'm still working on my niche, though I think I have a good concept of what my target is, so far as what's services I'm willing to offer. I just don't want a small IT firm seeking my services when I don't deal with IT management optimization, because, well...I don't know anything about IT. Lol. Nor do I want to.

So I'm hoping I'll make my service details clear enough that they will only attract the business I can help. I don't want to have a list of specific biz types I service either, just 'cause I a may be able to help an IT, legal, or medical firm with their marketing, but not with other things, you know? (Nothing personal, but I find these fields quite boring by the way... Lol) So I'll have to figure that out.

*Sigh* it's all really not clear yet. I mean, today I'm saying this, but who knows, maybe I'll find that I'm so interested with the cuisine arts, fashion, and lifestyle, and journalism sectors so much that I seclude myself to those industries. And though the "ooh la la chic" bistros, and most creative-preneurs capture my whimsy, I have a lot of exploring to do before I decide to block all other biz-types out and focus on those. Hmm... Talk of this new idea excites me. I've never (well, not like this) connected my love for lifestyle to a possible advisory opportunity before....

But, as I said, not so fast. I can always use my fancy for HGTV, BHG magazine, and all things aesthetic architecture, real estate, fitness and health, and wellness, in another venture. And I would like to always be open to helping certain businesses/organizations that aren't lifestyle, like a random non-profit, another consulting firm, or a youth organization(technically that might fit into lifestyle though. I mean, really, doesn't everything?) or whoever.

But I really think I just had an epiphany. Hmm... *juices beginning to flow.*

I like mid-post epiphanies. Well, let me not go on, I don't want to complete the whole thought process on here and give away any valuable ideas.

Well this was useful. That's all for now, off to think-land.

Posted thoughtfully from My BB ;)

O.F.C.J.

Vacation

2011-06-06T17:32:00.007-04:00

Hello!

I just got back (on Saturday) from Fort Lauderdale --left pic (not mine) and Miami--right pic, (not mine), Fl from a week of vacation with the family. I must say, It turned out better than I expected it to. There were moments...yes, but it was actually fun. Sunny, palm tree-filled, beachy, luxurious fun :). We saw so many yachts, nice homes, and jsut nice areas. We went to the Fort Lauderdale beach, and South Beach (Miami), walked around, and other stuff. I took lots of pictures, ads did everyone else who had a camera. I also lost my phone, it was actually a combination of losing it and having it stolen. I bought a new one within the hour, so yay :). WHat more can I say, the vacation was, well, a vacation, lol. I enjoyed.

In other news, my 'I need to find a way and a place to move-date is coming soon! Lol. So, how were you all's weekends and weeks?

O.F.C.J.

I Love Retreats! And Other Things.

2011-05-22T22:28:00.008-04:00

Hello!

This past weekend, on Saturday, I went with a group of people at my church taking the Alpha Course, on a 1-day retreat. It was filled with food, talking, discussion, prayer, and most excitingly, hearing from God and new experiences for some people. It was--awesome. I went there expecting revelation and clarity on certain issues in my life, and that is exactly what He gave me. *Thank you Lord ^_^ *. Needless to say, I was very encouraged and the day itself was fun, from the bus ride to, ot the bus ride back. I got to talk to some people that I had never really spoken (for long moments) with before. It was fun :). Most importantly though, I have new clarity on my life, which is good because it's the main reason I went. And since Saturday, He's been confirming His message to me through His word, the sermon today, and even soemthing I hear on the radio on teh way back from a little fellowship meeting I had with another organization of mine (which I also received confirmation through). *Siiiigh*, I am excited, but with it comes more questions, which I'm sure will lead to more answers. What can I say, I LOVE RETREATS!!

Taking time to step away and just talk to God and relate with other people who want to do the same on different levels is fun and relaxing and soothing to my spirit. I love fellowshipping, that is, spending time with people who have my same values and relating. Relationships are very important to me, and I am even currently in the midst of praying for God to send me and help me develop the right friends. Having friends is cool. Having the right friends is a blessing in a special category. Though no one can me my needs like God can, it is sooo nice to have girls to talk to and have fun with in a way that perfectly agrees with who you are and never request the wrong things of your character or personality (I say girls in this case, but guy friends are welcome too. But every girl needs--I believe-- girl friends). But this weekend was co-ed, lol, and awesome. Well, new clarity is always good, I am very excited about what He's doing, and can't wait to have a manifested testimony in my hands.

In other news: I am still "job searching" and have a very positive outlook on my soon to be future career and how it will come about. Though those around me in teh same situation may be in despair, I can't say I share the same sentiment. I am quite hopeful and happy for the future.
I am still living with my sister, of course, who is moving in about a month or so. So I am trusting God to help me in this sitch, as I must then move to. And I don't want to go my father's, so I don't know exaclty how this is going to happen, but I know I have to get my own place pretty soon. I am hopeful on this too. I am pretty much not stressing on too many things, and the thigns I do sometimes feel confusion and frustration on, I am giving up to Him continually and seeking Him on. It all just makes me closer to Him. Which is what I definitely want.

Can't wait to live in my future,*siiighh* ^>^

O.F.C.J.

Bored in the City....

2011-05-16T16:42:00.011-04:00

Hello!!

So, as the title says, I am bored. In the city. It's international awareness month, I recently discovered, so there are some daily events taking place throughout

the month, but not today in particular.

So I went on Metro Mix to see what was happening today in my area. And of course, most of the events were "Happy Hours". Is there a day people don't do something that involves alcohol and then pass it off as an "event"?? It's so frustrating. Here am I, looking for something fun to actually do, and there's happy hours, and other like "events".

I mean of course there are some

concerts, book readings/signings, arts, and other stuff too, but the ones I found aren't really to my taste. I just wish I could find

things that were more to my appetite for fun.

For instance, Saturday was a good day for fun. I

had a breakfast fellowship event with my young adult ministry, then I headed off to the embassies here in D.C. for one of the international events they were having , the DC Passport Embassy Tour, I got to explore (some of) the world in a day. Of course I hit up the Nigerian embassy. It was awesome, free food, nice if loud music, and photos and art, oh, and people! I also went to Ghana, Pakistan (right next to Nigeria), Bangladesh, and Ethiopia. I would have seen more, but I didn't have enough time since I wasn't there earlier. That! was fun. No drunk table dancing, no manner of alcohol needed at all, just actually interested, actually interactive, actually useful fun.

Now not everything has to be cultural or educational, no, but I sure would like there to be a website that catered to my taste in adventure, excitement, and well...fun. Like an open-house tour of a gorgeous home followed by a super cheap cruise tour nearby; a cheap/free go cart race, or a kayaking or canoeing contest. A mini sky-diving event (where you'd jump from a few hundred feet vs the sky,. And I am making these up by the way.). Idk, I guess I'm looking for somewhat of a campus in the city.My school had such fun events. They were practical yet innovative, like when they had a snow day event in the warm Georgia winter/fall (...I know) when the used a snow machine to make a huge pile of snow for the students to play and fight in.

I'm looking for a more unique experience. I don't bar, I don't club, I don't drink, I don't "wile out". But I do like to have fun :). My fun is just more special than most. I mean, not just in it's non-alcoholic character, but in it's character overall. I guess once I make more friends in the city, I can plan little events here and there and everywhere and manifest my great ideas. Maybe I'' have a weekends of adventurous rock-wall climbing, hand gliding, and fun newly created games, ending with a Sunday evening balcony dinner of laughs, a heartily prepared meal, and ginger ale/cranberry juice cocktails with a splash of lemonade in fine goblets... and maybe a movie on a projector.

O.F.C.J.

Wrap Me In Your Arms...

2011-05-11T12:43:00.001-04:00

Hello :)

I like this song. The choir sang it during our Wednesday Bible/Holy Communion study service which was also the day I was baptized (last Wednesday :D ). I also like this version, it's very nice:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rr4XfAc1JBo

Enjoy ;)

O.F.C.J.

Supernatural Body Wash

2011-05-04T14:05:00.019-04:00

Helloooo

So. ... Guess what?

Today, I am getting baptized! I have been baptized before, but as I was a kid and didn't really have as much consciousness of what I was doing (*OOoh, what's that? We're going scuba diving? OK!!* Lol, jk.), it did not really count. But today... Oh, Today? Today definitely counts!

I never put it on here, but at the beginning of last month, literally, on April 1st, a major part of my journey took place... I was up doing Bible study at 6:00 or so in the morning, laer into my studying, It happened. I was baptized---in the Holy Spirit. For those who don't really know what this means, I received God's Holy Spirit, something vital to a Christian life (it's like GPS/best friend 4ever/confidant/guidance counselor etc. for you life basically. Lol.). And just like the Bible said, it took over me, and... yes... I began to speak in tongues. My body got cold, I was shaking and moving, and then...it just happened. I felt my lips moving and my mouth forming sounds my mind could not translate. I had no control over the occurrence, yet I was aware of myself (sometimes ppl aren't). It was...it was wonderful.

I'd been waiting for this for SO long. I thought I would never get it. So many prayers, ponders, so much confusion. In the previous months I answered to alter calls, prayers and whatnot, but still....it all fell flat on my spirit. But there was a reason, and deep down, I knew it. Unforgiveness. On the day before, that is march 31st, I went to see a guest pastor that had come for my church's month long conference ( it was AMAZING!! by the way.). I went to talk to him for counseling after there was an alter call the previous Sunday for people wanting to receive the Holy spirit, and I answered to it but...well, you know what happened. Nothing. Disappointing? Um, yes.

I spoke to him about what I thought the problem was, and he told be clean and simple what I had to do... forgive. But it was so hard! I've tried and tried before to just let go of how I feel about how my family feels about me (little bit of a mental tongue twister, I know). But he said "So what?". "Who cares what they think? Once you know who you are, they can say whatever they want to say." ...Once I know who I am. Hm. And how can I know that without knowing the One who made me and His purpose for doing such a thing? I can't. Therefore it was time to face the real issue, once again (as I've realized this before). He told me to go into a room and pray, and forgive them and to ask God to forgive me for holding on to that grudge for so long. I did. I really did, with all sincerity. And then I came back to his office and he prayed for me, and I left.

The next day, April 1st, 2011 (a few weeks ago), I woke up early for some reason. I decided to pick up my Bible and do my Bible study. And then it came to me to ask again. Ask God again to give me the HS. I mean, I had done what He asked, right? I forgave. And though it is a process, I let go, and was forgiven. So I asked for it again, I laid my hand on my head while reading my scripture, and I asked for it again. I started crying... nothing happened at first. But I wasn't going to lose hope that quickly. I kept asking, claiming in fact, since it is something to be "receive", remaining it was already given. I asked for utterance ("tongues", the evidence), and nothing happened...yet. I kept claiming it, while still crying out of a heart filled with desperacy as a last resort. And then... it happened.

I got cold and tingling (some get hot, but 4 whatever reason, I got cold). I started throwing my head, body, back and forth, at first I was in control, then I could sense myself losing it. But I didn't want to regain it, I had to let go and let God, literally. And then it came, the "words", the sounds. My "spirit man" spoke for over an hour. It was...amazing. I can't really describe it that well right now for those who know nothing about this. But if you don't know God, get to. And then accept Him sincerely, and when His spirit visits you...ha...you will have no doubts left. Trust.

The best I can describe it as is this: you are a spirit (soul), you have a body and a mind (conscious, emotions, reason, etc.) as well. Tongues is the outward expression of your "spirit man", as we call it (soul). Because it is not you speaking from your mind, it doesn't make any sense to your mind, it is in fact gibberish, because they are not real words, they are expressions in the form of sound (Like when you hit your toe and say something like "GahhHhGh!" That's not a word, but it's a direct expression of the feeling).

When you receive the Holy Spirit (you have to receive it, as it is being given to you), it mingles with your spirit and infuses it with what it holds which causes it to react in a joyful manner, and then it wants to express itself.

You, being in control of your spirit (yourself) can either allow or disallow this to happen. If you give yourself over to this urge, your "spirit-man", having connected to the only tool you can use to express yourself audibly--your mouth, speaks. Your mind is now "disconnected" from your mouth, and your spirit is "hooked up". Therefore making tongues more effective in prayer than any earthly language, because it is the pure expression of your feelings to God, without the use of intermediary functions called words--which already have meanings allocated to them, which makes it difficult sometimes to "say what you really mean" when you are talking to God.

Yeah, I know I just got all analytical, but that's kinda how I am.

So far as what it feels like, man... It's pretty amazing. I understand why the Word says He uses it as an evidence that you are filled with the HS. Because who will experience that and still not know that they have it?? Yeah...exactly. Just as no man (human) can express your feelings for you, they can also not be convicted of a faith for you. It's just one of those things you have to experience yourself. *Siiighhh*, I'm in love.

SO! Yes, today I am getting baptized (baptized- i.e. "immersed") in water. And I am quite happy for it :). the Lord loves me. Wow. I hope the sky opens up and I hear a voice from heaven just like Jesus did. Lol. Wouldn't that be AWESOME!? "O.F.C.J. ...*breathes*... I am your Father!" LOL. I'm so silly. K, I have to go finish preparing my outfit.

Peace out ;^D

O.F.C.J.

Update on the Fuse Pop Sitch

2011-05-02T23:41:00.009-04:00

Hello there voyeurs. (lol)

Well, remember that last post? Well of course you do, it's right below this one. Lol.

Well, things have--thankfully--mellowed down, as I internally hoped they would.
I'm still moving out soon though (by the everlasting grace of God), because the lease ends soon.

How did the mellowing down happen? Well, after I calmed down enough, and humbled down (approximately 3 days), I apologized. That seems to be a theme in my life lately, apologizing. But it never gets any easier. Oh well, pride comes before destruction, so I'll just get used to the taste of humble pie. I mean, it's not that bad. I might actually need more of it, but we won't go there right now. So I apologized for the way I behaved, the things I did, and the things I said. I left it there, I didn't try to explain them through or anything, just apologized and left them there.

No, she did not apologize to me, but that's Ok--for me, because I did my part, and that's all I needed for closure, something that happens to be very important to me in life.

Lesson: You can't make other people do what they're supposed to do, or do what you feel they're supposed to do. But you surely can control your own responses, reactions, and initial actions. And that will make all the difference in your state of being, that is, whether you're in the red with God, or all right with God, and with yourself. I don't know about others, but I hate walking around knowing I'm in the red. It's like in those moments I feel like I'm susceptible to a number of risks that come with such a dangerous delay, one of the worst being missing a blessing God set perfectly in place for my current situation. And once it's missed, who knows when it will pass by again? No, I think I like being in the green. It's quite freeing ;).

O.F.C.J.

Pop Goes The Fuse

2011-04-29T05:51:00.014-04:00

*WARNING! CURRENT, HEATED, LONG. APPROACH WITH TIME TO SPARE.*

Hello.

One word, hhhuuugghhh. No, not "hug", but "ugh" with a sigh in front. Why? Well I'm in a not so great situation right now. In between lack of clarity within my current general situation (life, purpose, blah blee bleu) , and post aggravation-al regret provoked by none other than my--and sadly, I'm disdained to use this title but, my sister, *ugh*, um I am in between a rock and a hard place, if not multiple rocks. What happened? An argument. And worse than the others, I regret this one not only because I am now in a place where I can no longer even consider staying here, no,but because I was keeping my cool...and then I blew it.

Like a stick of dynamite in a pool of gasoline next to a spark. Though there was ample provocation to result in this fiasco, I still blame myself because no one has control of me but God and me. And I let go of it for a few spare moments of anger. What could have caused such a reaction, you asked? Well aside from years of various aggravating factors, last night in particular... a simple conversation, well monologue more like it, she talked, I stared at my computer screen continuing with my job search and trying to ignore her with my headphones on playing a chill, relaxing demo loop. This soon turned into her walking up to me and taking one of my headphones out of my ear... for the second time, but this time I held on to it and poignantly said, "stop touching/give me back my headphone". But no, of course she held on to it. I stated clearly that I wanted it back, lest they break; she stated that if that happened it would be my fault since I was the one holding onto them, and if I didn't want them to break, I should let it go. Umm, I'm sorry, but does anyone else see the obvious glare of a flaw that's in that statement?? If so, please do tell.

Anyway, this soon escalated to her failure to listen, and then purposefully snatching the headphones--that I just bought mind you, and breaking them, "Ha! It's broken, now what?!"

............... Yes, I know. If you've been following this blog since the beginning, you've seen the pattern--family members who like to break my things. In 2008 it was him breaking my laptop by snapping it in half. Last night, it's her snapping my headphones into two. Lovely.

Luckily I had bought an extra pair when I bought those, but don't worry...those are now broken too. Complements of my heated attempts to remove them from her grasp.

But wait, there's more...

This soon turned into, somehow, oh yes, her reaching out and in fact, hitting me, after which I completely lost it. This was it ya'll, the popping point. I was indignant and didn't care. I grabbed her arm and she returned the favor. Soon I was standing up pushing her away and yelling furiously at the top of my air-loving lungs. I dared her now. "Touch me again!". I was heated, livid. And now she stood back staring, somewhere in the back (or front) of her mind knowing I was dead serious, and already regretting her actions. Hmph. Because though even I was not fully persuaded of my showing rage, I was serious enough to show it.
I eventually went back to my seat, and became angry enough, I picked up my cell to call my mother. And guess what? She tried to snatch that from me too. Ha! Can you believe this? But I snatched back and dared her with my words and the tone of my livid voice. No, my phone is not broken. Mmm, that would've been a whole 'nother level. Especially since my newer phone was recently stolen, and I'm now using my older one that I went through at least a hoop to deal with before buying a new battery & charger. ---But that's beside the story.

I was on the phone with my mom now, yelling, explaining myself, which was not as effective as I would have liked what with my then current state and all, he he :\. After a few more attempts to grab my phone, things stabilized in the physical contact area. She I eventually got of the phone with her after which she called my sister (from hence forth: "she"). Now guess what her argument was? Her story? "She's crazy!"

Um, *screeeeeeeeeeeeech*-----------I'm crazy? Wow, so this is what this all boils down to? You get to snatch earphones out my ear because I'm, as wrong as it may be, ignoring your lecture. Break my things, oh, and I forgot to mention, throw a few of the content of my purse around in search for her keys, toss my suitcase on the floor, hit me, and not to mention the persistent dogging and undervaluing old--no, we won't go there too much,-- trying to snatch my phone out of my hand and off my ear....and I'm crazy? Hm, wow. I don't even claim she's "crazy, psycho" or any of the other names she hurled in my general direction after the fact, but I will say this: Ha.

So this is your logic? 'I can do whatever I want and be in the green, but if you do the same or more, you're out of line". No, we're both out of line! But what with your high sense of entitlement, pride, and yet, insecurity, I see how you wouldn't see it that way. God forbid anyone even come off as a tad disagreeable, they are out of line-- which is, mind you, the so said reason for all of this in the first place...so said. But you can treat me as you please, say and do as you please, and somehow, SOMEHOW, by golly, you're justified! HA!

Anyway.... My brother called me to try to calm me down, I began talking to him, but then decided he wasn't the right audience to be venting to, and so I firmly let go of his attempt and said my calm yet quite firm goodbye. My mother called me back, and I she got on the phone with my brother and started telling him how "crazy, psycho, etc" I was. along with other things about me. I eventually got of the phone with my mom, who was also on the phone with her now, pleading with both of us to calm down and go to sleep as soon as we hung up. Eventually, I hung up, then she. I sat down, now quiet, on the couch and continued my impromptu apartment on the couch. And she....she, started talking again. Yes...yes. I stayed silent, and about, I kid not, 30-35 minutes into her me-directed soliloquy, I spoke in response. I know, wrong thing to do. I gave into provocation. She tried, before my response, to somehow make herself innocent. That was about 15 minutes into it. My responses, logical as they were, did nada. Of course (bad timing). And her pre-stated "calm", goodness forbid I added logic to it, turned into cursing and "I hate you"s mingled in with "I don't wish you any evil, I just want you to leave my place". Sincere much?

I fully accept my faults, painfully so. But it seems I will always be the faulted here. So-called anyway. *Sigh* God will sort me out, and this deep rooted ill situation too. *gruff siiiighhhhhh*.

As of now, I have to figure out where I will be moving to, lest my things be carried to the street, or the cops called to kick me out, as threatened.
And I really don't want to live with my dad. Ugh. God help me please. That's all I can say right now. Lord, take the wheel.

O.F.C.J.

We Are the Nation. We Are The the Turning Point. We Are Nigeria.

2011-04-04T00:06:00.004-04:00

This is a new song & video by Ty Bello called The Future. It's been on replay on my laptop for at least an hour now, XD. I love it! It's so beautiful!

Enjoy ;)

O.F.C.J.

I'm Changing My URL Because...

2011-03-31T11:35:00.001-04:00

Hello!

OK. So I made a post a about a week or so ago that I was changing my URL. "Hm, I wonder why", you may be thinking. Well, I'll tell you why.

A couple of weeks ago someone found my blog online and read it. "Found it" as in stumbled across it? No. "Found it" as in must have seen me typing in it and then went online and did a search for it. Yes.

And guess who this person is? My sister. So later on in the day she starts talking to me while I'm on my computer and mentions that she found--that's an action verb-- my blog, and she read it (hmmm, nosy??), and didn't appreciate what I said about her in some of my posts. For instance, she didn't like that I said in my post about my first day that I hadn't really wanted her doing my hair. She took great offense, saying that if I didn't want her to do my hair I should have just said that, and not to (paraphrasing) "pity" her (???).
OK, this has truth in that it's good to say what you really want, but in all truth, with the way she was behaving and behaves in general---she would have been offended. In fact she was offended that morning when she offered to blow out the perimeters of my hair and I objected because I don't like using heat on my hair. She said I didn't know how to "listen to advice" and I was "stubborn". OK so because I don't want a piece of help you offered (more like tried to impose) I'm stubborn? OK. To the whole doing my hair deal, I'm sure she would have said I was ungrateful for not accepting her help if I'd expressed myself then, and blahzay. So, lose lose.

She was also upset about this post about where I said I felt my family (including her) was condescending towards me, and also (in the second paragraph) how didn't like her choice of music, and planned to buy headphones so I didn't have to hear it.

She came to me and stood there and told me that maybe it would be easier to treat me how I want to be treated if I behaved such and such way, and did a, b, and c. I'm sorry, but I don't think a life-time of undervaluing someone and condescending them has too much to do with how they behave, but more so what's working inside of you to make you react, respond, and behave towards someone in such a demeanor. She was basically trying to justify it.

Secondly, when she referred to the part about her music, she said I was "judging" her, and she "didn't appreciate" me talking about her like she was "the worst heathen" (once again, ??). I'm sorry, what did I say about her taste of music?? Read it, 4th line from the end. Yeah, I don't sense any condemnation there. Just saying. And if I needed to judge her, I'd do it in righteousness (the godly way; in love and truth and sincerity) as the Bible allows me to (II Timothy 3:16) , but I didn't even do that. Yet I digressed.

She then exclaims that "God forbid there be people reading it that know us" ...um, I'm sure no one on here knows my sister and me, why? Because I've seen pics of all my followers and I know all of 2 of you personally---who only know me, (I also know of 2 non-following readers) and moreso, I don't market my blog to people I know, and even if someone that happened to know me and her truly stumbled across it, I don't think they'd see "O.F.C.J.", and my profile pic and be like "OOH, I think I know that girl, and her sister too!!". LoL Yeah. I'm anonymous and deeply under guise, and unless you're a stalker and you watch my situations happen through the window before I type them...I highly doubt you can figure it out. I'm just saying.

But, she then goes on to tell me, after all this, and how she doesn't appreciate it, not to write anything like that on here again.

UM, EXCUSE ME???!! Ooh. You all, being a Christian is already not easy. But please don't make me lose my Jesus in here. Lol. Are you kidding me? YOU are going to tell me, after snooping around via being nosing on my computer screen, and then being nosy on your computer and a search engine and finding something you don't like, what not to write about in my blog? Um, I thinketh not ya'll. I thinketh not.

First of all, I said nothing rude, outrageous, or condemning in any of my posts that referred to her, only truths about my inner thoughs and sentiments. SECOND of all, darling, this is MY blog, and if YOU don't like what's on it, then please, please, don't read it! I think I'm free to say that, right? Anywho, to all of this, I responded in silence. Instead I went on my blog and changed the URL to keep her out of my beeswax (it's changed back now), even though she claims she deleted it from her internet because it "broke [her] heart to read"---UMm<>

So, that's why I'm changing my URL, because I don't really want her on here, and I don't really want to deal with her in my face again trying to chastise me about what I'm writing and then tell me what not to write--which also happens to be none of her business. Goodness, good thing I'm a somewhat prude-ish yet interesting (I think :P) writer and don't put all my life out on here.

I will probably end up later on making my blog invite-only instead so I can keep my current URL, but I'll have to know which of you want to be invited if I do that so I don't leave anyone out :).

OK, *deep breath!*.

Ta ta!!

O.F.C.J. ;)

Hello Everybodaaay!

2011-03-21T00:32:00.005-04:00

Hello!

OK, so it's been a while. But I thought I'd log in today for a little while.
So, how's life been? Well. Certain things have been removed from my life. Things that might make others fall into a depression, or maybe pout and stomp about for a while. But I've been smiling and hopeful since losing some of these things. Some tangible, some short-term dreams. But it was & still is all for the better. I am looking up!

My sister and I had a big fight last week. Argument. I apologized for my faults today. Difficult, but necessary. You see, God had been working on my where obedience in the form of forgiveness was concerned. I was being stubborn and prideful, and quite frankly, insecure. And it's been blocking my progress in my destiny: my ministry, my calling within my career, my spiritual and emotional growth, my relationships, and else. But today, I did it. I obeyed. And though I'd been planning to do it since last week, and though the slight trepidation was holding me off, I did it. And it felt good. I've done my part in apologizing and asking for forgiveness, which I gladly received. I also prayed for God's Holy Spirit to touch and clean my heart, fill me with the Spirit of love, & severely renew my way of thinking. Since this issue between me and her is not new, I've had ill feelings where my fam is concerned for a loooooooong long time now, and I want to let it all go so I can move on with my destiny finally!!! SOO. I'm happy I did that. I also finally told my family about something I'd been hiding from them (see next paragraph) because I didn't want to be bothered with their "helping".

The month of March is very strategic for me right now. God has since the end of February allowed me to be laid off from my job, just in time for the very beginning of March, which is also the month of a month-long conference of amazing events at my new church. Which has so far been AwEsOmE!! And I know this all happened on purpose. Maybe I wouldn't have heard His signals drawing me to change and step into a new level in my life had I been working. But though some expect I'd be down about this, I left smiling, and still am. I can just feel Him at work in my situation. Big things are about to happen. And I thank God for all of them.
In other news: interesting things have happened to some of the people I know, some encouraging, almost like a sign form God to me saying, "See? I can do all things. Just you wait." And some unexpected & interesting and dealing directly with me and past friendships. Anywho...we shall see.

I am excited about my overall future!

L8r!

O.F.C.J.

Changed URL

2011-02-28T12:56:00.006-05:00

Hello!

I'm going to be changing my url to soon!
I may tell why later....

Peace!

O.F.C.J.

Oh My Gosh

2011-02-25T23:40:00.002-05:00

Oh My Gosh. You won't believe what just happenned. And at first...neither did I. Neither did I.

But, even more strange...I feel just fine...:)...most of the time. This is truly a journey most exciting ... :].

That is all for now.

O.F.C.J.

It's the Weekend

2011-02-13T00:53:00.010-05:00

Hello!

So... it's the weekend!!! Haaahh! Yay... :). It's Saturday to be specific, and my day was...busy. At first I was in bed (actually I sleep on a couch...for now ;) ) looking for apartments online. Then after I felt my stomach would soon start digesting itself if I didn't feed it, I got up and ate breakfast upstairs, while continuing my search. I haven't found anything yet in the way of an apartment or a roommate. So I'm praying about both.

Later I went to the mall for a few articles of clothing, and though I was not entirely successful, I did come out with some new leggings--one pair of sweater leggings--a new scarf, a new pair of gloves, and a bag of Lindt truffles--milk chocolate (mmmm). I wanted few pairs of new slacks and maybe a nice top. But at least it wasn't a waste of time.

SO, how's the meat and potatoes of my life been? Well, in short, I need to get up on my spiritual game. I've been slacking on my relationship with God. This is def. not a good thing, as it is what drives the rest of my existence. *Sigh* I've been praying, but not like how I now I should be, and same with my bible study. Sometimes the thought of being "on point" is so overwhelming, it scares me right back into a complacent stroll. So this has to be fixed. Clearly.

At work--well, let me start from the beginning of my work experience. When I first started working at my new job in January, my colleagues were not the nicest people--let's just say. When my boss first introduced us to each other, it was like receiving an obvious blow-off. I said "hi". They looked up, barely spoke, and looked back down. One gave a small but kind hi and a little laugh after I myself let one out. I'm not sure how sincere she was though. I went about my day because I was not about to let my day be ruined by this sad excuse for a warm team welcome. I settled in at my desk and went about my first exciting day, which went and ended quite well by the way. Since then, I've experienced more rudeness from them in the form of clearly being treated differently ("Small" example:I sneeze, no one says anything, someone else sneezes, they get a "bless you".), annoying criticisms, and such. I've prayed about the situation. And since then...it's gotten better. One guy and one girl in particular have been noticeably kinder. How sincere and permanent this is? I don't know, but it's better that what it was before.
We shall see .

Something I am way more concerned about right now is my destiny and the fulfillment of it. I want to know why God brought me to this place to work. I know He did it. It was almost a miracle how I got it! Lol. But I new more inspiration to get up and go to work everyday than just knowing I'm getting paid, and being able to work in such a unique and open environment. I need to know what God's strategy is, His game plan if you will, for having me here. That way, when I feel in a slump about my performance or teammates or whatever else, I can remember that 'm there for an d Oh-so greater reason. And not just to be the best at what I do and excelling amongst my peers. Because for me, sometimes--most times--that's just not enough.

So a lot of things are happening. I'm going through a transformation of sorts. But one big one that encompasses them all. I'm gradually discovering my calling, my reason for being. And as whimsical and movie-like and cliche' as that may all sound, it is quite a big deal. I don't know how long I have left on this Earth, and quite frankly, I don't want to live just to die unfulfilled and experience Hell, or live and miss the Rapture and possibly fail the Tribulation time and be eternally condemned to Hell (because really, if I fail this phase of my life, what are the chances I'll make it through that terrible period? Come now people. Come now.). SO. I really want to make this life of mine count. I want to live it out brightly shining in the right direction. And as big as this all sounds, it really starts off with the little things. Like knowing why I'm getting up to go to work in the morning, and not letting other's actions bring out my insecurities. In fact, learning how to manage my insecurities in Christ so that no matter what others do, in the end I have control over my situation. I have a lot of exploring and realizing and absorbing to do. Whew!

President's day is coming up next Monday. 3-Day weekends!! I think I might hit up a spa?? I don't know. We'll see. I need some relaxing in my life. So much to say, grasping for structure through which to effectively express. Maybe soon I'll really sit down and express myself and what I've been going through. Until then, I'm glad I've gotten this much out! Ha!

P.S.-random-- I've been day-dreaming of warm island vacations (Seychelles anyone? Lol) and spa days lately. During work too. ...I know, I know. Teeheehee.

I'll talk to you all later,

O.F.C.J. ;) ;)

New Day, A Sky-Blue Day!

2011-02-03T09:15:00.003-05:00

Hello All!!

I am on my way to work right now. I pray today will be a good day. Just got off of a weekly prayer conference with some sisters in Christ. Glad I was able to call-in since I have missed the last two--phone issues :\. But! It's OK now. OK, got to go find the rest of my clothes and get ready now. Byeee!!

O.F.C.J.

O my gosh, sigh

2011-01-31T22:34:00.009-05:00

Hello!!!!!! ...*pant, pant pant*

So much going on. So little time to explain and write down and express and gt it all out., The new job is interesting. I like it. I am still figuring out and exploring why God has me there, there is a deeper purpose to this placement. There are interesting parts of it that I'd rather not face though. People, attitudes, daily grinds. Stuff like that. But I know that in the middle, there is me and my personal "tasks" that need to be ironed out, and once I can deal with my issues, the external things won't matter as much. So, I won't go into it now, but. Yeah, it's been an experience so far. Lol, I thank God for this opportunity ^_^.

My spiritual life has also been interesting. I just returned from a 3 day prayer retreat yesterday (Sunday) afternoon. It was intense. It was great. I prayed, and prayed, I cried out my heart, and though the event is over, I'm not done yet. I've just started actually :). I met new people, the location was beautiful, the hotel was beautiful, distractions came, but I forced them away. It was a weekend of seeking, meeting, the divine impartation, and deliverance. It was...it was just what I needed :). *Siiiiihgh* ^_^... and now I want more.

So funny that I remember now, I had been wishing for a getaway months ago, and now I've had one. But as I said, there need be many more. Oh---yes. Many more, especially for this phase of life that I am in. It's a very sensitive time that requires piqued ears, obedience, and a diligent heart that is seeking. A time of Discovery, sensitive timing, and amazing manifestations if I seek as I should. And amongst all the busi\y-ness that I am now finding myself in with joining various organizations at my church, my new job, and other activities and situations, I need a quite place, a quiet space, and frequent mini-vacations to get away to a place of peace where I am just with me and God, asleep or awake.

I'll be moving soon, in a few months. I am stilling praying about that. I feel an urgency about it, but I don't want to be impatient. Thank God I'm living out of suitcases right now, it'll be easier for me when I move; one swoop on a taxi and done :) Lol.

Haaahhhhh...SO! I am in the midst of a lot right now, but working my way to getting on top of it, or at least at the center. I'm doing alright with managing my time and activities so far. But I feel like the better I can manage my mind and Spiritual life, the easier it will be to manage my life and have true peace. I am excited. I am sometimes nervous. I am hopeful. I am anticipant, and sometimes impatient. But...I am excited, and I am continuing on to finding myself, my true calling, and my life, in Christ.

And now I am off to bed, because I am tired!! Whew!

Toodles!! =^X

O.F.C.J.

Quality Control: Inactive Followers

2011-01-09T20:37:00.021-05:00

H e l l o !!

HI everyone, I hope you all had a great and lovely Sunday. I have noticed that out of the followers that I have, there are quite a number of inactive followers on here. I loooove the idea of people being interested in my blog, but if your initial interest has waned, or maybe you are inactive for other reason, I am personally asking that --if you are usually inactive and just happened to be drawn in to reading this intriquing post, and fit this description--that you discontinue the following of my blog please. With the new year, I want to have a clean blog as well. Maybe my blog topics just aren't for you, that is fine. I don't expect people to read and/or comment out of obligation. That wouldn't be fair...because I don't blog out of obligation, I blog out life, my life, and what I have to say about it.

I wanted to do this last year, like in December, but I wanted to log in a few other posts before I got to this one. I would be fine with having only 5 followers that read and/or commented every once and a while than a little over 44 with no proof to show of it (proof not necessarily meaning a comment. Proof meaning a comment or someone reading a post--even if they don't comment). I don't want to junk up your newsfeed, and I know you'd hate to be just a face decoration on my widget sidebar. Lol.

SOOOO!-- I will be waiting for a good while for some of you to drop followership, and if there are some lingering inactive ones, I will be blocking them (which I'm assuming is the equivalent of deleting someone?? Idk, I've never block ne one before). No offense, loves. But quantity is just not as important to me as it used to be.

P.S. If you are an active follower (you read, comment, or do both) Please drop a short line, e.g. "hi!', or something of the like in the comment box so I will not block you.

I have a visitor tracker in my sidebar, but do not know all of your geographical locations so I know some of you are reading :).*

Have a beautiful week! ;)

O.F.C.J.

My First Day at Work!

2011-01-06T21:50:00.002-05:00

Hello!!

So, I'm at the metro station right now as I type this on my cell phone while waiting on my train.
I just completed my first day of work, and... it was fabulous!!!! LoL. My 1st day fell on the day of the company holiday party, which was held at Dave and Busters. It was great. But let me rewind to the beginning of the day.

So I had a good start this morning beginning with a couple of early morning women's prayer lines that I called into, one impromptu, one more familiar. I communed with my sisters in Christ and they prayed for me. I continued getting ready and doing my hair, which almost made me late because I didn't exactly know what to do with it, I know, I know, bad planning. My sister helped me put it in a style, which I appreciated though it elongated my preparation time. I ended up taking it out and just redoing it on my way out.
As I rushed to the train station, I decided to stop by CVS to pick up a pack of scünci hair bands and use that too fix myself up on my way to work. Fast forward 35 minutes and I made it to work with 4 minutes to spare. Score ;). Thank you Lord.

Initially, I was still feeling not all the way satisfied with my look, but I fixed it later on in the day :). The day went rather well, despite how I thought I would be nervous, and the initial response to my presence by my team members- *lack luster* lol. My manager (who is funny, energetic, and awesome!!) introduced me to the rest of my team, spoke to me about on what my first few weeks would look like, showed me my desk (with awesome leather chair) :D, and let me know I had business cards already made, a company email address, and other already setup accounts. I got started by logging into my email account, setting up passwords for the other accounts, and setting up my voice mail. I can't wait 'til I get my business cards!

Later, as the new person, I got to pick where we would all go to lunch to eat, though ppl were allowed to opt out according to preference. The entire management team was present, including the CEO, my manager/director, and the department founders, though the CFO wasn't in today. I chose Thai :D! There are a bunch of places surrounding the office to eat, and the Thai place was right across the street. As a welcome for me to the company, the CEO paid for lunch, for everyone, for which I'm thankful. That was pretty awesome!
Later on there was a briefing for a business event coming up. My director, one of the department founders, and another girl (not on my team) was present, and I was invited to come (along with another guy that was still fairly new). LOTS of information, but I've got it ;).

And THEN at the very end of the day we went to Dave & Buster for the company holiday party. Fantastic!! It was all paid for by company, there was a fancy yet laid back banquet dinner set up and then, and on top of that, we all got D&B game cards with $80 worth of tokens on them to play whatever we wanted for the rest of the night. I enjoyed that. Me and some of the other girls played a few racing games and had soo much fun, for which I'm glad, laughs included. So, it suffices to say, my day was a blast. Let's review: 1st day: My own desk/semi-cubicle, leather chair and nice computer included, free lunch of my choice with the whole management team, meeting/mingling with majority of the whole company team, a company all expenses paid holiday party including dinner/dessert and pre-filled game cards...yeah, this was a GREAT first day ;D. Bye for now though! I have an assignment to get started on and some research to work on as well. I'm home now (have been for a while). 2morrow is my 2nd day, and I want to it to be even better than today in it's special way!!

Ciao Ciao!!

P.S. If you missed the story on how I got this job, read my post, "Cliff Hangers: The Answers".

O.F.C.J.

New Indeed... :)

2010-12-31T19:51:00.011-05:00

Hello!

It's almost here! Wow, this year has been definitely a foundation laying year for me, and I know I still have some to go, but 2011 is going to be a year of fortification and manifestation of waiting glories. Oh yes. It's 7:52PM right now. I have to go get ready to go to church. That's how I celebrate my new year, praying and praising until it comes and making use of my last few moments in the current year to thank God and speak over my new time ahead. Though it's something I do throughout the year, there's something different about starting a brand new year off with prayer and sincere praise. It--when done genuinely--sets the year off to a grand start. And I am ready. Especially with all I've learned this past year, even up until tonight?!? Oh yeah, I'm ready!

Let's GO!!

See you next year, ;)

O.F.C.J.

Happy Birthday!! ;-D

2010-12-30T09:34:00.002-05:00

Hello!

23 has been awesome...so far :P. 22 was great and I love my new age!! Thank you God!!

Off to Atlanta today. Hope I have a good trip and vacay before I return adn start working :). More later!

Later ;P,

O.F.C.J.

Cliff Hangers: A Few Answers Part 2

2010-12-29T12:45:00.001-05:00

Hello!

My family has been getting on me about the job search "You need to be more aggressive!", "What are you doing? You sit at home on your butt all day", Blah blah blah. Ugh. And I just felt in my spirit that the whole process didn't need to be that hard. If God wanted to bless me with something, then He would. Whether through guidance in my searching or dropping it in my hand by grace, but He would. I searched and search and searched. I applied for a job at Macy's in D.C. while I was in Atl and got an interview. When I got to D.C. and went for it, it was less than 10 min, extremely un-profesh, and in the end I didn't get it. --this is the interview I alluded to in my post "Stay-tus". But it's OK that I didn't get it, because God had something much bigger in mind :)

2 Fridays ago (17th), I saw a Monster job recommendation in my email inbox. It looked unreal and scammy at first. But I opened it and researched the company then decided to apply. BTW, it's a company that holds special cross-industry advancement forums for Fortune 500 C-level executives (the highest positions in high revenue companies like HP, Wal-mart, Nike-etc.). It's Ok, I don't expect everyone to understand this, since I had to thoroughly explain it to about 4 ppl in my life already. LoL.

30 min. after applying I received a phone call from the company to schedule an interview for the upcoming Monday (20th). I waited, I researched, I went. After the interview, I was scheduled for another interview the next day (Tuesday 21st). I was nervous. I didn't know if I had gotten a call back because I did well, or because I did well but not well enough, so they wanted to be thorough about checking my potential.
Tuesday came and went, and I once again did not know exactly where I stood. I was nervous. Just days before applying and after an argument with my sister, I'd pondered over the email, and how good it would be to have a job so I could provide for myself, and soon get my own place. So, I prayed and prayed, and when night came, I left it to God and sleep took over me.

I woke up on Wednesday morning (the 22nd) and for some reason, until the the early afternoon, didn't notice the missed call on my phone.While anticipating the response, I decided to go to my email and write a "thank you" letter to my interviewers. I was tweaking my letter when I saw that I had a letter in my inbox. My breath skipped a little. I opened a new tab to check it and it was from the first person who had interviewed me, the director. He was saying he had tried to call me that morning but missed me, and asked me to call him back. I quickly looked at my phone and saw that I had a voice mail. While chastising myself for not noticing it, I called my vm and listened in. It said, basically, to call Him. I hung up and dialed the number he noted. When he picked up I anticipated every word he was saying, until I heard him say what I wanted to hear, and he did. I GOT THE JOB!! Thank you lord. Yes, a good salary (!!!) + commission, and a slew of benefits. If God's wants to do something, He'll do it, and it won't take unnecessary stress. 1 email+6 days+1 job offer= testimony.

NOW...for the next question...

"Are there any hopes of her getting her own place while in D.C.?"

What do you think? Well, I'll tell you what I think-- YES! I started apartment searching so quickly I forgot I won't even be leaving for a couple of months since I want to save up before I go. It may or may not be in D.C. directly, probably the surrounding metro area where rent is less expensive. But I AM GETTING MY OWN PLACE!!!! See how dreams come true? Now, I just pray God continues to go with me and guides me as I make all these decisions. I know how hasty I can get sometimes so I'm consciously combating that with scriptures on patience and wisdom, and with prayer and faith. I'll update you all on my apartment search once it starts for real.

NEXT:

Is D.C. her last stop? Or does God have other plans so far as where she will be settling down? And if so, when will she find out?

As of right now, I'm feeling like God is making this a permanent stop for now, that sounds weird, doesn't it? . I've been thinking of my future and asking, "could I really see myself living here?" Hm, idk. But we'll see as time goes on.

"And- The Overall Question: What exactly does God have in store for her in His will spiritually and materially; and will she ever reach it all and experience truly overwhelming fullness like carbonated joy?"

For the last 2 cliff hangers, they'll keep hanging until I get the answers myself. Oh...and guess who I spotted, or shall I say, who spotted me while I was here? Hm.... I'll tell later. Until then, the journey adventure continues ;D

Adios ;),

O.F.C.J.

Cliff Hangers: A few Answers.

2010-12-27T21:57:00.017-05:00

Helleeew!!

Remember this post I wrote a while back that had all the cliff-hangers? Well, I know

I haven't updated my page in a while with updates on exactly what the events of my life have entailed, but wait no more. It is time.

Let us review, shall? Here is a list of the to-be-continued questions from that post:

Will she find any career experience and or career opportunities?
Are there any hopes of her getting her own place while in D.C.?
Is D.C. her last stop? Or does God have other plans so far as where she will be settling down? And if so, when will she find out?
And- The Overall Question: What exactly does God have in store for her in His will spiritually and materially; and will she ever reach it all and experience truly overwhelming fullness like carbonated joy?

The last post I updated on my journey was about how my sister was agitating me, and I was job searching and aching to move out. Since then, here's what's happened:

I've had a few more less than gracious encounters with her, each one leaving me more frustrated and almost desperately looking for a way out--you should have seen the things I considered. *Shudder*. I've job-searched, career-searched, oh-Lord-please-give-me-a-way-out-from-this-stress searched. I've been up, down, out and about. And I've also been quite blessed :).
Let's start with the first question, shall we?

Thankfully, soon after coming to D.C. I got back into touch with a women's business center that I spoke with while I was back in Atlanta. I've had the opportunity to facilitate & attend a few workshops. I've been networking, and I was also able to meet and speak with the director of the center about my future of helping with them.
____________________________________________________

Remember my urge to get into business a while back? Weeellll... I've made a breakthrough that I'm very proud of. And it's not over yet. F.y.i.: my business desire is to be a small-business adviser. A couple of months ago I found out a business owner I knew was looking for a service, specifically, a marketing kit for her business. And guess how I found out? Facebook. Lol. Good stuff. I thought I could do it so I pursued it. Initially I sent her a great sample of a marketing kit, and she was interested. But then because of a few amateur mistakes I lost her interest X( , and in so many words she said --basically--that I needed to get a method to my madness and then my good service would be great, and she was going to find a "more experienced marketing firm" because she was afraid I would take to long to deliver.

You can imagine how I felt. Ughhhh. Like... like such messup!!! BUT----IF there's anything I learned in my Professional Selling course when I was in school, it was overcoming objections. So, I took a couple of nights and days to think and pray on what I should do, and I decided to counter her response with a negotiation proposition. And....a few days later, she responded and agreed to my terms.
I said I would deliver her a custom marketing kit by x amount of days while she continued her search for a "more experience marketing firm" and if she liked it, she'd let me know and would pay the service fee, and if not, then Ok. All of this under no contract. I finished the kit on time and emailed it off. And in a few days I got her response. ...*Sigh*... I GOT IT!! She, and I quote, "LOVE[D] IT, GIRL". LoL. Yes, she added a "girl!!" at the end. That's how happy with it she was. She said she wanted some adjustments made, which is fine, and decided to pay a %50 installment on the fee. I GOT PAID FOR MY FIRST BUSINESS SERVICE!! Yayyy!! The rest is coming after she outlines the adjustments she wants. But I was so excited. I needed that money too. But wait--there's more! Since her company concentrates on marketing consulting, and she has clients that could use my service, she's considering using my service for her clients! I'd be a contractor for her/her clients! We'll see how this goes ;)

So, that answers the first part of question one. "Will she find any career experience..." Yes, I did :).

For the rest of that question, Will she find any career experience and or career opportunities?... See Part two of this post ;)

Toodles!

O.F.C.J.

Surprise!!

2010-12-22T01:57:00.050-05:00

Hello.

Well, I am done. Finally. I didn't take that long really. But I put it off for a while so I'm very happy to say I have completed it. Of course if I feel the need to tweak in the future, I will, but I am done for now. Yay!! I like it. It's new, it's fresh, it's original. I made the girl in the background by finding various images on the web that agreed with my vision, cut body parts, and parting them together , and editing (lots of it....)in Paint and PowerPoint. I am satisfied with my result. You wouldn't believe the amount of effort put into it, and so many different images of different people. This one woman is made up of images of Caucasian, African American, and Asian women...but you would never know cause after I spliced and joined them, I painted over it all so she would look as close to my skin color as possible :). This chica in the background is basically a representation of me, and the ambience I want to embody and exude--think of the name of the blog ;). Maybe, just maybe, I will eventually put up photos of the process of her making. Actually--I will put them up with this post. Along with a before photo of the blog.

The process of created the background, particularly the woman in the background, was very extensive, but I will narrow it down to a few steps.

This is a VERRYYYY rough digital scratch of the vision I had in my head, not including the girl's background setting.

Yes....laugh if you will. Lol. I envisioned her with some time of white skirt and sitting on a chair in a room with flowing white curtains in the background. Head thrown back, letting out a laugh of relaxation and refreshing freedom. Relaxed, refreshed, free, exhilarated and serene.
____________________________________________________________________

These are the images of the women whose parts I used to create the image.

There's one more lady, but I don't feel like searching for her pic again. She is the one I got the calves from.

Now, here is an abridged--severely abridged--version of the process I used to bring it all together, with help from Paint and PowerPoint. Pay attention to see if you can spot who I used for what.

Painted a skirt on my original vision 1st then added a leg and an oddly placed foot.

Hair: I eye dropped the color from the fro and used it to paint the hair. Notice the erasing and painting of the pumps to form feet shapes, and the progressive painting of the dress and legs and shaping and restructuring of the body (making her lean back in stead of sitting straight up).

How did I get her in a chair? Well, first I found a chair that was reclined, then placed her in it. But to make it look like she was sitting in it and not on top of it, I duplicated the exposed arm of the chair and placed it in from of her to give the image depth.

From picture 9 to 10, can you spot the difference? The edit that I made was in the the right arm. I painted over the hand on the elbow. See the last woman in the list to see where I got the arms from.
Picture 11, I painted her skin to make it a shade darker. I repeated this until I came to picture 12.
___________________________________________________________________

THE ROOM

Here is a short snippet of how I got the amber curtains in the room in the background. the rest of the room is one whole picture. I found another picture I liked, cropped it down to the curtains, faded it like the rest of the room, and added it to look like it was a part of the room.

Here is the picture I cropped.

I cropped it to the far left, and used that part of the curtain.

Here is the original photo of main room.

Oh yeah, I added some bubbles and a bubble wand to put in her hand.

Then I faded it out

Voila ;)

_________

Here is my blog from before, as most of you are familiar with, and the after is right in front of you :)

I love my beginnings. And I love my advancement even more. Yay!!

Oh, and there are more updates to come on my time in D.C. so far...some things have happened. I 'll say nothing more until I post. ;)

k
Toodles! 'Til later,

k
k

O.F.C.J.

WARNING!

2010-12-09T16:53:00.015-05:00

Hello...

The blog is still under re-design. ...Changes not yet final. Tweaks still to be done and small design decisions to be made. Though I am indeed feeling this new look. Can't wait to complete it. I'm thinking of fading in the girly in the background, so she pops out less, and making some other changes to my new design. Hm decisions decisions. Yay! for finally getting a new do. It was about time....

Later,

O.F.C.J.

Out & About, and Taking Deep Mental Breathes....

2010-11-22T19:58:00.002-05:00

Hello :)

I am out at an Indian restaurant right now with my sister. Lately I've been working on forgiving my family for a "lifetime" of making me feel we'll...undervalued, I'll say to be nice. but I'm out right now, with my sister and her friend and kiiind of, just kind of, feeling like maybe I shouldn't have come. As soon as she got home and walked into the room door, things started off on the wrong foot. And it didn't take long for my forgiving spirit to be challenged and for feelings of resentment to start flowing in again. *sigh*. I'm fighting it even now. Their sitting in front of me as I type this msg. Which is rude...but I have to get it out (not to justify it). I just can't handle consistently being around people who are condescending, confrontational, clueless, and so defensive they can't even see outside of their own zone of being "right", which is, of course, wrong. Uhhhg.

So. Right now? What am I thinking? Well I'm in this restaurant and I'm feeling this atmosphere--the decor, and funnily, thoughts of my future living room pop up in my head. You know how you feel can your thoughts and desires? Well, I can feel warmth, I can feel a culture of my own-- a lifestyle I mean, where I'm not in rotation on someone else's plate. It's not like my life is controlled by anyone else right now or anything. It's just different, you know? Having my own space. Now that transportation's not a problem anymore, there's more leeway for things in my life in general. I guess I can get a headstart on that "lifestyle" now, before I get my own place. And then I'll just move it in with me. Lol. Hhhahh. I know I can't take things too fast. But moments like this propel such thoughts. In the meanwhile, I need to buy some new headphones so I can at least block out her music when she plays it in the room. We don't have the same taste of music so.... Yeah. It hurts me to listen to it, lol, but really though. Hhah. Hm. I need to do my Bible study tonight before I go to sleep so I can set my mind on the right track and at ease. I don't want to be on paper-chase mode--that could be dangerous.

This traffic is kinda crazy tonight. I think we're driving through Adams Morgan or I think we're on U street actually (?), on the way home. There're people everywhere walking from place to place. Driving to and fro. Interesting. Hm. Looking at these pretty/posh rowhomes/apartments/condos makes me want one. Random thoughts. Ok. Well I'll talk to you later, I've got some thinking to do. Hhhhah.

Nighty Night ;}

O.F.C.J.

Re-Modeling. While everything else is getting a revamp... :)

2010-11-18T17:31:00.006-05:00

Hello =)

I have other things to update on, but this post is being primarily dedicated to letting you know that...I'M REMODELING MY PAGE. So , if you're reading this and happen to refresh it a couple of times and see that the layout, design, etc. keep changing, no your browser is not magical. It's me. In the back round. Making changes :). Lol.

L8er ;^)

O.F.C.J.

Stay-tus

2010-11-14T21:18:00.014-05:00

Hello All!

So... Here is the stay-tus on my (permanent so far) stay in D.C.

I've had:

1. 1 job interview...update on how that went later ;)

2. A couple outings on the town; one for an evening jazz concert, which I didn't catch all of, and a ride out to Virginia with the dad.

3. More clashes with my sister than I would have liked...and each time I started plotting and daydreaming about how I will move out into my dream apartment/townhome/ situation... but I know learning to 'deal' with love is what God wants for me right now so...yeah. May not happen so soon, but I'm not down about it. I know He's got my back in all things...as long as I cooperate ;)

4. I've Joined a couple of relevant-to-me social groups to build relationships and fellowship, and am currently looking for at least one other group for another area of my interest to network in

5. Registered for a couple of events: one a dinner with my church, another an event for a ladies organization (not either of the ones I've joined) forwarded to me by the organizer of one of my social groups. It's next weekend and it looks to be fun. ...update on that later after it comes to pass.

6. Gotten news of a monthly *travel allowance* from my dad. This literally happened while I was writing this post. Happy! teehee.

7. Been applying for jobs

8. Met and chatted with a pastor (lady) at my new church who's encounters I found really interesting and in-tune with certain parts of my interests.

9. Reconnected with a friend who stays in the Baltimore area.

10. Having thoughts and some fears about my progress, but nothing paralyzing, thank God, (the sermon at church today was actually AWESOME and really spoke to me right where I am. I think it was actually an answer to a prayer I said yesterday, in detail....)

11. Catching myself slip, and trying to be consistent with my walk with God on this journey so I don't have to stay in one place longer than I need to (physically and spiritually)!!!! ...kind of like the children of Israel did...hm.

That is a quick recap of my time down here to far. So much to come. I wonder exactly where it'll all take me...*sigh* ;}

'Til Later ;)

O.F.C.J.

I'm Here!

2010-11-08T11:33:00.021-05:00

JHello!

Jj
j

Not to sound cocky but... I have arrived ;)

I landed in D.C. safely two nights ago, hours after I originally planned to arrive. I missed my original 4:30 flight and caught the 9:10 flight afterward. So for about 4 hours I lingered at the Atlanta airport. It wasn't bad at all. I like Hartsfield. It's so beautiful and...well, let me just post some photos so you can get the picture --no pun intended. I had some lunch while I was there, which was really my first meal of the day; I had Chinese. For the rest of the I time snapped pics and lingered around in the shops at the airport. I spent most of my time at one book store called Simply-Books sipping on cold icy (and free ! :P) water from Starbucks and browsing through some of the things they had. After my time was finally spent, I made my way to the security checkout. I rushed as I placed my things in the gray bins, took off my jacket, shoes and belt, and of course, put on my socks (I Hate stepping on foreign floors) . I was kind of in a frantic--but still happy--state since I felt, and indeed was starting to hold up the people behind me. I made it through and headed towards my gate, which was a different route than what I remembered, but I made it there without getting lost. Withing little time I was on my flight.

These are pictures of the airport's atrium. You can see some of the restaurants and some of the upper levels of the airport as well.

There are more shops and restaurants around on the main level but I didn't take any pictures of those.

The last picture is of the new Marriott Courtyard Experience space they have.

Though I wasn't too bothered about missing my flight (strangely, the night/day before I left, I felt as if I would. Probably because I had to pack late)I did initially miss my original seat since it was closer to the front of the plane, and therefore more convenient. But the flight went well. I enjoyed my complimentary (although extremely cheap) headphones, cranApple juice, and "gourmet" pretzels. For the rest of the flight I meditated on a verse that held a message for me, set my mind in place for my destination, and fell asleep as I listened to music on the on-flight XM radio and then my MP3 player. I woke up right around landing time.

You may remember "TP" from this post. Well, he's the one that picked me up from the airport. Knowing His nature, and having spoken to him earlier in the day, I internally apprehended yet prayed that the ride to my sister's place would be smooth, or at least not too bad. And, to my surprise, it was! I know I prayed about it, but with the way the prior phone calls had gone, I was afraid things would turn out "strife-y". Afterward when I had realized how relatively well the ride had gone, I was like "Wow...huh". *Siiigh* thanks God for always having my back ;D. My first night was good too. There wasn't any substantial or negative tension and things went smoothly. ...One day/moment at a time, *sigh* :)

I have a few plans and potential plans for today so I'm off to do that now.

Also, I added pictures (not personal ones, expressive) to my last post (& made some grammatical corrections).

Later! ;)

O.F.C.J.

It's Time To Go

2010-11-06T11:47:00.050-04:00

J
Hello!

So guess what? IT's that time. I know I haven't written in a while to update on my journey, and that's because I didn't feel like writing. But a pivotal point is here. Many revelations have been received. At times the enemy tried to have me feel as if my month+ rest period of my journey had been a total waste. But...then I looked back. I looked at where I was. I looked back at the messages I had received, one important one from Him (God) in particular, and I looked at all I had gone through and where I had ended up. Right here. Right now. And I realized... the Devil is still a liar! I have advanced! I am not the same! I still have much improving to do, of course, but my time here has not been a waste!!! I gained revelations indeed! He has been talking to me through others and through His word. I have the key, and I am taking it with me. "Where?" you ask? Well... to my destination of course

...That's right!!

Today is the day I've been pondering about, praying about, and planning towards. My bags are packed (and being packed), I am checked in (online), and I am stepping out to my new destination today.
Goodbye ATL, Hello D.C.!
It's been something. And it's not over yet! Nuh uhn uhn. So much has happened! MY Father spoke to me. He told me when it was time for me to go that He would prepare the way for me. Provide for me. Give me resources and such. And I believe it!

IN THE NEWS ALSO:
While I was here, I have also been applying for jobs in D.C., and a few days ago, I was contacted for an interview! I had to schedule a time for myself over the Internet and funnily enough, that day my Internet stopped working. Can you say Ha HA?! Well, that didn't stop me. My mom and I went over to my uncle's house after running a few errands and I made haste in booking a spot, happy that I wasn't too late and they hadn't all been booked. So, next week I have an interview, and I'm not even in the State yet. Can you say "Blessings"!!?? If it is God's will for me to have the job, if this is a part of the resource package He promised me (which I am suspecting it very well could be), I will fully accept. I will be praying on this of course.
JJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJOTHER NEWS:
I am mentally preparing. I will be living with my sister, which poses to be a challenge because we do not always get along. Didn't I tell you this journey was not over? Ha! I hope there won't be too much turbulence, but this is all for the molding of me. This phase will require a lot of direction, and therefore obedience, as well as self control, patience, and LOVE--something I'll big doses of daily. And did I mention patience and self control? He he he.

Guys and Girls: I'm stepping out. I'm getting a new environment. I'm making new relationships and reforming--slowly but surely--the damaged ones that exist currently (which will take a lot of transforming on my part.). I'm reforming everything. From my phone contacts--which I sweeped a week ago, to my facebook, which I cleaned up yesterday, and will do more today. Consider this officially a stick-up. And I'm taking back everything.
I just don't want anyone or anything in my life, or any personality or characteristic trait (on my part) that is without purpose, clarity, or truth, and will therefore slow me down or influence me negatively, therefore making me feel, well, bad. Friends are clearly cut as friends, while the line for associates and acquaintances is nicely drawn. These seem like smaller things in the journey, but they surely enough do matter for me. For these new relationships I plan to form, they will be fulfilling, awesome, happy, purposeful, in His will, and add on to the already awesome relationships I do have. My character, my ministry, my career, my relationships, my Life--It's all got to be refined,

JJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJYa'll, my life is about to be awesome.... :^0 . . . .

It won't be a movie, there will be claws and maybe even a few scratches further along in the journey (metaphorically speaking of course, tee hee ;) ), but this will turn into something beautiful! ;^). And when it blooms, well...I guess it'll just keep getting better--not without the every now and then challenge. Life isn't a single point to be reached, but it's served up in seasons. And when they are used wisely, each season is a progression from the last, all beautiful for there own time and purpose, moving into something new continuously until He says it's over. And trust...it ain't over yet, it's just beginning ;^D .

Toodles until later ;),

O.F.C.J.

The Program. Step by Step ;)

2010-10-16T19:18:00.011-04:00

H e l l o

The Program by Aaron Sledge

O.F.C.J.

Hello...Update!

2010-10-10T21:26:00.007-04:00

Hello!!

Hi all! So, my books did arrive on their expected dates, and...I am happy with them. Well, with the one I've started reading anywho, I anticipate beginning the other one.

I have begun reading the "Breaking Free" book by Beth Moore. I am using it as the main supplement (as a supplement for my Bible) on my journey. I must say. I am feeling better about everything :)). There have been imperfections, but God is definitely in control. He has been speaking to me in awesome ways (like really though =D) that make me feel that He is with me and I am going to be OK. I'm still not sure when I'll be leaving Atlanta, He has not told me that far yet. But I feel better, that He is in control. And even better--that I am getting closer to him! Which was the whole point of this journey.

Today's study...

educated me on the definition and structure of God's glory, and how it is defined as the way He shows himself to us and shows himself through us. His glory is the action of Him making Himself recognizable to and through us, and his power is what He uses to do so. More importantly, as a woman of God, my life is meant to glorify Him. And as opposed to what some may think, this is easier than one might think. Seeing as God Himself is the one that has to wield His power to make the glory seen, I myself have no control over how He chooses to show Himself...I just have to position myself in the right place at the right time by submitting to his authority (letting go of pride and fear and acknowledging His greatness), trusting in Him, listening to what He's telling me, and obeying His word. Once I am in line, He is able to glorify Himself through me. And I can be used by Him! Which, I must say, is a thrilling idea, and soon to be reality. It's funny how sometimes we know things without really understanding them thoroughly. And I am still learning and realizing more about Him and His ways. I am happy about this. Thank God for mercy and grace.

More awesome revelation and progress to come!!!

Side note: Loving the fall weather lately, though it's gotten warmer recently here in the "A". But I know it will cool again. Either way, yay!!

O.F.C.J.

Happy Nigerian Independence Day!

2010-10-01T19:40:00.002-04:00

Hello!

Happy Birthday to my Country. 50 today. May God bless your leaders, future and current, with wisdom, love, knowledge, and the fear of God. And all else will follow after. I can't wait to see the day we start to progress economically, and spiritually. That will be something to talk about.

Blessings,

O.F.C.J.

Special Delivery :)

2010-09-28T21:27:00.021-04:00

Hello!

Hi all. Well, good news! --for me that is, hee hee. I have gained clarity on my current situation. yay!! God spoke to me and gave me mucho clarity through a friend of mine two days ago and where I am (my physical location, and situational location) makes so much more sense now. I now know that the journey, though already begun, is just beginning, so I have to suit up for the challenges ahead. But anywho, though I feel dismayed at times, I am excited!!

I bought a book on Saturday that I am expecting to arrive tomorrow. I will be using it as a supplementary study tool to help me on my Journey. It is called "Breaking Free: Discover the Victory of Total Surrender" and it is by Beth Moore. I was shopping around for books on Amazon, and asked for suggestions via my fb status, and someone suggested her. After looking her up and finding that book, I was so good to go. The book's reviews were amazing, and got me sooo excited about buying it. Then I skimmed the table of contents (Amazon let's you look inside some of them) and found the flow rather thorough and very attractive for my purpose. And I get it tomorrow!!

I bought another book I'll be reading on the side called, "The Velveteen Woman: Becoming Real through God's Transforming Love" by Brenda Waggoner. From reading the reviews I gathered that it was a sit down, sip, and read book. I think I like that :). I should be getting this by Friday, hopefully.

I finally can have a little more peace of mind--well actually--a LOT more peace of mind. If I can just keep heart, I know this is going to one the the most fulfilling and pivotal periods in my life.

The places it will lead me to are full of promises I am sooo glad to call mine. Wow. I know this is when the enemy will step up hard and try to keep me from trekking the path I should take. But I guess I'll be stepping up hard too because there are so many things at stake. A better relationship with God, my Career, various "Resources", Time, new Fruitful Relationships, and god knows what else!!! I mean the whole LOT. *Sigh*... To whom much is about to be given, much is required. LoL. But I'm not backing down.

I can't wait to see the UPS truck tomorrow. Oh yes. I need to stay prayed up for this delivery. And yes, that is a double entendre.

Hoping for the best, and preparing for it too. ;)

O.F.C.J.

Preparation Pains.

2010-09-23T19:40:00.004-04:00

Hello.

It has been 2 weeks since I've flown into Atl. I am still here. What are my plans? Well, I do have some. Moving, pursuing my MBA, working and training, and getting involved with a new ministry, along with all the big little things in-between :). I am looking forward to this new change. Really looking forward to it. But---the thing is, I don't know when it's going to happen. I know that failure to plan is planning to fail. But it's not even that I'm not planing, I most definitely am. Have you ever been in a situation where you wanted to move forward with your plans, like really want to move forward and start makign progress, but because of one thing or another, you couldn't? Like you had to wait for someone else to make a decision first, and without it, you really had nowhere else to go? Well, yeah. I guess you could say I'm in that kind of situation. You see, there is someone that I am waiting for to give me His final say on this decision that I am in the middle of making, and without it, I really have no choice but to wait--no desirable choice anyway. Sometimes I hate having to wait on people to do something, just so I can do what I feel I have to do. But in this case, I know it's for my own good.

So, here are some of my aspirations:

Move to my, so far, final location and attain a career job.

Be involved with these 2 businesses I just received an opportunity with through hands-on training and mentor-ship (YAYY!!!)

Get involved with my new ministry in said location, and begin fellowshipping, getting involved, and making a "home-y" familiar yet exciting environment for myself.

Study for the GMAT (blech) by finding some type of meetup to get involved with so I won't have to do it by myself, and also studying independently when I discover what study books and programs are best to use.

Having a good life... :)

Applying to my choice graduate school and some other choices, then getting accepted and taking it from there.

_____________________

Hopefully I gain more direction in my endeavors, either towards the completion of these things and more, or away from these and towards other substantial goals. Whatever is good for me in the eyes of God. I want it. I just want to be secure.

O.F.C.J.

My Current Disposition

2010-09-14T14:29:00.025-04:00

Hello...

So. I am at home now, in my room.

A lot has happened in the past week since I have arrived here in Atl., actually exactly a week ago from today. I have been feeling emotionally rollercoasterish, so to speak. One thing happens, then another. And tosses me a little off balance. I know it's not good that I'm allowing circumstances to tousel me this way. This whole journey is more than a relocation, a masters degree, and a job search. Maybe I'll get to that later one day...or actually, now.

_______________________________________________

I have been struggling lately with my faith. If you know anything about God, you know that He created us, and so we (humans) were not created to be apart from Him--not successfully anyway. All good things are completed through faith. Spiritually and physically. All things.

My currrent disposition is affecting my entire life. I have no "other means" to run to to attain my success, jolliness, and peace of mind like some people do, though it is ultimately to there own destruction. I have no connections to an illegal cartel for my financial stability, or to a friendship with someone who'll tell me so confidently that with or without Him all will be well, because, well, all my close friends are believers too. And I would have this no other way. But my point is--there is nothing else for me. No mirage for me to grasp at for my happiness like almost everyone else does (isn't that ironic?). I am facing reality because He blessed me with this thing, an intense knowledge that disables whatever ability I might have had to cajole myself into naively thinking there might actually be another way to attain fulfillment without Him. And I am grateful for that. Yet...I also seem to be my own stumbling block. Don't you just hate it when that happens?

It seems that something about me, something about me is stopping me from reaching my own fulfillment. I seemed to have short-changed myself by not having faith--without which no manner of knowledge or understanding can make a relevant difference in one's disposition. And that is my current disposition. It seem so obvious, "Well then, just have faith. Duh."

Well thank you Benson, for your assistance. But you see, Watson, it is much more difficult than that, at least it seems so for me. Because...I don't know how. I believe in Jesus, but It's as if my faith is being limited by...something(s). I'm suffering from a slew of diseases whose roots seem to circle creating a catch 22. Except I know the answer. --> I need a boost in my spirit. A new battery--one that doesn't run out. A fire inside me that burns forever, but rather than consume me unto my own death, it fuels me by consuming me with it's urgency to fulfill. It's deep. It's awesome. It burns cleaner than anything you've ever and will ever know of. I know precisely what it is.

There seems to be something in me that keeps me from attaining it though. My own fear? Complacency? Unfaithfulness? Inconsistency? All four and more? *Sigh*. I'm not exactly sure, but boy, must I find out. Many of you may not understand the true implications of living a Godless life. But as I stated, this journey is more than a relocation, a degree and a career. It is much much deeper than all of that.

As much as I consider giving up sometimes, I can't seem to bring myself to that, or even anywhere near seriously considering it yet. And I hope I never will. One day I'll be able to explain all of this better, and maybe Ill even have visuals and personal anecdotes to back me up (I'm hoping for the latter). But right now, all I can do is try to strive.

Hoping for faith to hope for the best with,

O.F.C.J.

Above photo is not my property. Was attained from the Internet.

Almost Almost There

2010-09-02T19:01:00.017-04:00

Hello!

So, remember my last post about some of the challenges I was facing? Well, 1 of those has been solved. Yay! I have taken a few steps more towards getting to my destinations, physically and life-wise. I bought my plane ticket out to ATL a couple nights ago, and--get this--instead of having to fly standby like I thought I would, I actually discovered Airtran was having a 3-day sale and got a flight out of here (Chicago) for $69 for next week!! YES!! So now I can check in my bag and not have to worry about sending things home, which would be MUY expensive, and I would still be leaving some of my extra heavy items here. Yay :). So... 1 minor obstacles down, and a few (great and small) challenges ahead.

Stay tuned for updates on the journey such as:

Will she find any career experience and or career opportunities?
Are there any hopes of her getting her own place while in D.C.?
Is D.C. her last stop? Or does God have other plans so far as where she will be settling down? And if so, when will she find out?
And- The Overall Question: What exactly does God have in store for her in His will spiritually and materially; and will she ever reach it all and experience truly overwhelming fullness like carbonated joy?

Find out on the next --and thereafter-- posts of the O.F.C.J. Adventurous Journey Chronicles. (cue dramatic theatrical outro music)

O.F.C.J.

So Much

2010-08-28T14:29:00.013-04:00

Hello.

So much to say, yet so little words I have to say them. I am feeling, challenged. Lol. I am 3 days away from moving, and still don't know how everything is going to happen or turn out. I don't have the money for the ticket to fly out yet. And According to my recently made plans, I am to move back home for a week to gather and settle some things, and then fly out to my more-so permanent place of travel. I don't have the cash to do either right now, let alone the know-how of how things (various things in my life, career-related and otherwise) are going to work out once I am at my final destination. In my ideal hope, this is how it would all go: (Cue dream harp music and ripple effect)

I go shopping today or tomorrow to buy a new suitcase to carry the bulk of extra things I was sent from home after my arrival here.

I leave for the airport in a few days, arriving and briskly striding through the wide halls of the airport with my luggage in tow and a hopeful fresh smile on my face. I purchase my standby ticket at the counter for a flight that has more than enough seats still available. And I make my way through the scenic airport to my gate.

Arrive at temporary destination #1 around an hour and 40 min later, landing safely at the beautiful Atlanta Hartsfield International Airport where I take the interior train to the luggage claim, and wait for my ride (mother dearest) outside...or inside, depending on how I'm feeling.

Arrive at Home an hour or so later; I greet the fam and settle myself in my room.

Fast forward one week later--->I am re-packed and ready to go. Arrangements have been made with a certain business in my more permanent destination to take on an apprenticeship (with pay) upon some time around my arrival to the city.

OH!---and I have my own apartment to settle in! ;^)

*Siiiiiiighhh*.... Oh How I Wish.

Well, I don't know how closely my actual experience will look to this one, but I sure hope it either meets it, or exceeds it. I still have hope, and I am indeed working on it. And despite my unsureness right now, well...I still have hope. I just hope God is with me through and in all of this, and makes it work out well. Direction is my best friend right now, though sometimes I feel he is nowhere to be found. LoL, even in all this--especially in all this--I really must look at my life and be thankful. It's not nearly as bad as it could be. Not even close--trust that. And I must say, it's quite the exciting journey. As always :P. I do love my life. And I'm sure I'll be looking back on all this soon (hopefully) reading over it as if it were some exciting novel where the protagonist (moi) jumps over many hurdles--sometimes being trodden by them, but never staying down--only to say "To be continued"....

And we shall see.

O.F.C.J.

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I Am...

2010-08-22T22:53:00.012-04:00

H e l l o.

I am in need of...well, I feel, many things. But maybe those are wants. But I am most definitely in need of prayer. So if you read this, send one up for me please? Sincerity is welcomed, nothing else required.

I am moving soon and I am having mixed feelings and am feeling a little nervous for reasons I will not fully disclose right now except to say I hope I am making the right decision. I really need more guidance and direction in my life right now, as well as providence for whatever I must do. So this is a call out for intercession on my behalf. And If you are a praying woman or man of God, new or old, please do heed the call, if you will.

Thank you. Much appreciated.

O.F.C.J.

Ummm...I think I'm Ready!!

2010-08-13T22:18:00.029-04:00

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Hello!

OK!! Lol. Sorry, I know that was a random way to start a post. But I feel a desire right now. To start. What? Well, emmm, my life. I just graduated college in May, Thank you Jesus! Lol. The next school year is about to begin--though for everyone else, not me, duh. And I'm just ready guys! To start living with purpose, like in multiple ways. OK, so let me break this down.

Ever find yourself in a "middle-of-the-road" position ready to get close to the next exit and make that next turn in life and then you find yourself on Facebook (of course, right? :P) looking at albums of other people's lives and thinking, "*Sigh*, maybe I should've done more in college, maybe", or "Wow, I need to get up and -insert action here-". Well, I did just a few min ago. And no, it's not what's driving my desire to get started on some things(my own Apartment,A job, A new social life, A new outlook, Renewed faith, A New...well, EVERYTHING!), but it sure did make me think about how I want to be doing something progressive and purposeful and not sitting and longing. Of course I willed myself not to start missing college just yet. Like--I just left, OK? Give me some time. Geesh.

But I must say, I know God has to be cooking up something up there, I just wonder what it is. Heck, just give me a whiff!! I wanna know what's coming next. A big change is happening at the end of this month. I'm moving. I still haven't decided the state yet, I'm deciding between the two main ones I've narrowed it down to. I really hope the move and transition goes awesomely! I am not one to sit there and wax old while getting left behind being mildly content with whatever is handed to me and whatever I can mooch. LoL. No, I'm not still at school, but I'm not at my destination point either. And frustrated and confused as I may be about the lot that is happening--or not happening--right now, I really have no choice but to move on, gratefully. Uhhh---School is over guys! Class is dismissed! And this girl is on the way to her next stop---...Update 'cha later on where that may be. Ahehe ;)

Peaces.

O.F.C.J.

My Status; In More Ways Than One.

2010-08-09T16:39:00.016-04:00

HeY ;)

This is a thought that I was thinking on during my Bible study this morning (afternoon really). I decided to make it my facebook status.

Why are we required to cite the works used in our essays, or create bibliographies? Because we have no authority on our own, & without them our works become opinionated pieces of creative writing. Once we begin to demand proof and citings from other religions' "holy" books/manuscripts to justify the Bible, we turn it (in our own minds) into an opinionated piece of creative writing with no authority of its own.

And our faith becomes weightless because we now see "The Book Of Authority", as "The Book that Needed Permission to Have Authority". God's Word does not need the approval of other manuscripts & beliefs to be what it claims to be. Lest we say God needs permission to be who He claims to be (God), and therefore we become hypocrites and liars, and our faith is a sham. Do you understand what you believe? Or does the "Christ" in Your Christianity need approval?

Hm... 'Nuff said, I think.

Too-tles!

O.F.C.J.

Wake Up. A Letter To Myself and All Else

2010-07-31T01:11:00.025-04:00

HelLo-O-oOoO!!

Have you ever felt prompted to do something, but you didn't know exactly what was prompting you, but did it anyway? Like a feeling that you should check your email one more time before you go to bed or leave the room? Well. I am prompted to write this blog post. And I don't exactly know why...yet. It may be me or it may be God. But I hope it's useful. SO. I was just watching TBN (Trinity Broadcasting Network-- a Christian broadcasting channel), and I felt jolted, encouraged, prompted, to change. Not like one of those episodes of some show you watch that leaves you like, "Yeah! I'm gonna stop doing that! ....Tomorrow!". --No. I've been wanting a certain change (we'll call it, "the change") in my life for a while now. I almost feel like it's been too long.
Have you ever wondered why you are here? Like, existent on Earth, or at all for that matter? Every one has a purpose. Some reason to be alive. They're all the same really. We're not that different form one another. BUT--they all manifest in different ways.
It says in the Word-- ^"23And not only they, but ourselves also, which have the firstfruits of the Spirit, even we ourselves groan within ourselves, waiting for the adoption, to wit, the redemption of our body."--Romans 8:23

Here is the more descriptive Amplified version of that

²³And not only the creation, but we ourselves too, who have and enjoy the firstfruits of the [Holy] Spirit [a foretaste of the blissful things to come] groan inwardly as we wait for the redemption of our bodies [from sensuality and the grave, which will reveal] our adoption (our manifestation as God's sons).Our purpose in life is to worship & get to see God again, and be together with Him. In doing that, we are charged to help others come to and accept this realization as well.

HOW am I supposed to do that? I was given a few gifts (So were you. You should probably get on finding out more about those). Some abilities about me that are tailored in a way that only I can work them. I happen to be a great speaker, motivational, intelligent, outgoing(though shy at times also), and have many other gifts you would probably never ever guess I had, and probably may not think/know exist. So basically, I've been given a lot. Potential for mind-blowing amazingness. For myself? No. To help other sons (all humans) of God manifest as well. If I fail, refuse to move out of my complacency and stay selfish and stupid... well... God could always replace me, and or replace and destroy me. Tough beans. But even worse, if I don't manifest, those whose manifestations were my primary responsibility to influence and bring about could never come. And then not only would I not see God, they wouldn't either. And they're blood--all of it--would be on my head (that is to say, I would be accountable for not fulfilling my responsibility which involved the bringing to salvation of others. A failure that would result in they're ultimate spiritual death (and possibly physical too depending on the sitch). hmm.....REALLY. TOUGH. BEANS.

all of this to say: MAN... IT'S ABOUT TIME TO WAKE UP Y'ALL.

...You are not your own. Despite whatever you may so strongly (or lightly, or passively or blah-ly, or not at all...etc) believe that has oh-so convinced you anything otherwise... You're not. You're just not.

I mean. The sleep may be sweet now, but you'll be kicking yourself later. And I mean KICKING.
SO. As I continue and turn up my journey to blow up in the spirit and help others do the same. I implore y ou. Put away the lust, ignorance, racism, hatred, justification of un-Godliness through foolish doctrines, passive, or ill-translated following of the actual Word of God, and just straight up laziness and complacency...and pick up that cross. And start walking. I mean, it's not like you you're alone (*Cough* Jesus *Cough*). And besides, I need you to spot me when I trip and fall :^D (not "if". ...WHEN.). Lol. So come on.

WaKe Up.

O.F.C.J.

It's OVER!!

2010-07-24T17:01:00.021-04:00

Hello!!!

SO. Guess what? My internship is OVER! Yes. I am so happy about that. It was kind of like a land of broken dreams.

Here's how it started

I was so excited about going to Chicago for this thing. This new start. This fresh beginning that was to be after such a monumental time in my life--college graduation.
Little did I know...what I was stepping into.
Not even to speak of my trip too Chicago. impromptu and hectic as I don't know what. That's a whole 'nother' story of how I may or may not have stepped outside of God's plan for my internship. I still don't know. But anywho....

After getting there-- finally getting there, I climbed up to steps into the office, which was the top level of a 4 story home, and as I was told, an staff/intern photoshoot was in session. We were all having shots taken for the upcoming revamped website. I took my many frames after getting a current-events briefing form the owner on what they had been up to lately.

Week one passed...nothing much. Minor tasks here and there with an overall assignment of researching new design stuff for the site.

Week two passed... same thing.

Week three......um, wasn't I shouldn't I be introduced to the Marketing Director ("MD" or 'C') by now? And working on some major event planning/promotional strategies? I tastefully asked my boss when I would meet her. "Who? 'C'?" She asks me, as if she wasn't the one that formally stated " 'C' is the Marketing director, you'll be working very closely with her" when we spoke over the phone a month ago. It's OK. It's all good. I waited, here we are. Let's go. She emailed her and we got into contact and set up a brunch/meeting time.

I got to meet her and her intern, whom she all but assigned me to as if she were her 2nd in command. Umm, excuse me? Am I taking assignments and reporting to you or your intern? How can you tell me to correspond with her so she can correspond with you? It's like the company was so fragmented, it was so confusing. The owner didn't know what was going on with the MD. the MD saw herself and her intern as a separate entity from me--while we were all a part of the same company. The rest of the time went like that. Except from one eventful meeting who's purpose I was not completely filled in on. So when interns from one of our affiliate companies asked me why we had called a meeting with them, I could only give the info I had. But it's OK. the MD's intern swooped in and filled us in on the meat of the meeting. Making me look as if I was some schlep who's just come in off the street and joined the team.

Lack of communication. Improper managerial structure. Lack organization. I never want to deal with a company suffering from any of these things again, let alone all three of them.

I am definitely praying for the owner of the place. It's easy to see she's overwhelmed, and not in a good way either. I do have empathy for her. But I can't really completely excuse what I went through. This could have been avoided. and Hopefully for future interns, it will. I hope.

So. Now I'm continuing on the job search and praying my way though it.
_______________________

In other news: Peep my new "Like" buttons on each post :). Coolness! I just installed them on every post. Ya. What a feat. It took a while. But alas, I finished.

I'm getting ready to go see SALT while having a dinner and a movie with my sis and her friend. I didn't really care for it when I started seeing the ads everywhere. But it beats staying int he casa all night. I hope it's above average.

Peaces,

O.F.C.J.

Not To Stop.

2010-07-20T17:07:00.008-04:00

Hello.

Sometimes we get so frustrated---I get so frustrated. It's like I'm performing on a stage and the crowd is happy one moment, then starts booing and throwing tomatoes and lettuce heads and BLTs the next. And I get discouraged. but then I remember the promise. ...The promise. Psalm 37:25 25 I was young and now I am old, yet I have never seen the righteous forsaken or their children begging bread. The Lord never forgets is children. David observed this. Those times will come. Those crowd-booing, tomato-throwing,trying times. But at the end--if you endure and hold on to Him in His Word--you will still be standing. And you, you will laugh last. I speak to myself as I type this. Because this is what I am feeling. Amen Jesus. Keep upholding us. I remind you (and myself...especially myself), not to stop.

"I Won't Stop"- By Canton Jones

"My Day"- Canton Jones

Toodles ;)

O.F.C.J.

Upgrading. One "State" to Another.

2010-07-14T14:31:00.025-04:00

Hello!

My internship, is almost over. And While I am happy (Quite happy :) ), I am not ready to relax quite yet, not fully anyway. Not until I am in a position to do so. Preferably an Analyst position for a Management Consulting firm. Haha. I am mapping out and searching for my next steps after this internship is over. I have been looking into the different ways I can get started on my track to becoming a management developer. If I have to start through a paid internship or as an administrative assistant, I'll be more than happy to. If I find an analyst position--with awesome training of course!--I'll be more than happy to take that position too! All of these positions are a few or one step(s) away from being what I want to be---a management consultant.

I Just can't wait for God to bless my efforts, as He's been doing, and help me to break into this field! It's really one of those "It's who you know, not what" fields. And connections do count. I maybe have one, and could definitely use more. You can definitely find me on my Linkedin account some days, searching and updating. I'm hopeful, though it can be very frustrating sometimes. I'm a grown woman now. And I have to have live according to the stage of my maturity--scratch that-- the stage of my purpose according to the potential God has placed in me...'cause maturity in age can only take you so far. I can't wait to get my job, get my first apartment (Oh, and I have been searching---I'm moving from my current state too. Extra exciting ;D ), sign that lease, take those keys, and start decorating! LoL. Of course other things will come after that, like buying a car, eventually.

---But back to the present. Here I am sitting at my computer, searching, thinking, hoping, and praying. I know it will "pay off". Can't wait to see how it turns out. Less than 2 weeks left. Hopefully the "pay off" comes within the next 1 1/2 months! I will be updating you. Believe it!

Ciao,

O.F.C.J.

Floating

2010-07-08T11:37:00.010-04:00

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Hello!

Just thought I'd write in, since I haven't in a while, and update! I am at work right now, well, the internship, to be exact. Isn't that the perfect place to write in my personal blog. Just two more weeks here and I'm OUUUTT (insert Canadian accent). Yeeess!! I'm so glad for this. This has to be the worst internship--OK, not the very worst, but close enough for me.) that a girl can have! I will tell you all more about it later. Can't wait till I cut the cord on this baby and bounce. *Siiighhhhhhh*. And then... I'll be moving onto my real(er) life.

I've been thinking and planning lately about my next steps after this internship. Money, apartment searching, job/career searching, and possibly more grad school searching doused with a lot of prayer--hopefully, I will know what I am to do sooner than later. I have this feeling of uneasiness sometimes. Like I'm lost and floating in the air. I don't like it. Feels like purposelessness. And I hate being without a purpose, or at least having one but not fulfilling it. *shudder*. At times like this I thank God for my youth and for the knowledge that I have, as His help.

I kind of feel like a particle neither at the top nor at the bottom of a body of watter, but suspended in the midst of it. Floating. Being tousled by the natural currents and constantly moving between the surface and the bed. *Sigh*. I hope this stabilizes soon. I have taken a step towards that, and am in the process of taking more. I hope all this floating stops soon. I'm getting dizzy.

O.F.C.J.

Ghana Must Go....To The Finals. Or so I wanted. siiiiiighhh.

2010-07-02T17:41:00.007-04:00

Why? Ghana? Why? What was that? Were we playing dodgeball and I didn't know? Or little league football. Ah AH!! WhAT Was that now?? It's OK. I'll get over it fully eventually. ...Like I have a way of doing. Drown myself in some Oreos or something. *mchew*. Man, ... *walks away sulking....Face brightens up at a delicious package of blue and white holding cream filled chocolate delights*.

All is well. Lol. There always next time, right? At least they didn't ge expelled for 2 years. But we won't even go there. Have a bright day ;)

O.F.C.J.

Today is the Day that the Lord has Made

2010-06-28T00:26:00.010-04:00

Hello! What a great day today was! I went to church, enjoyed the service. Ventured out to a new neighborhood to go to a Target which I later found out doesn't have its "Grand Opening" until July 26th. And then found a couple of African spots--one shop, one awesome restaurant. Good food while watching (partially anyway) the World Cup. happy girl. Yay!

O.F.C.J.

Delusionment

2010-06-20T23:04:00.009-04:00

Hello. I am on a Skype call right now with a friend who has just pronounced me "delusional". And I think I agree withe her. Let me tell you what lead to this*. I have been feeling kind of frustrated recently. If you've read some of my past posts, you've seen this. Just when I was feeling a bit better, my challenge does what it's best at doing. Challenging me. I feel, confused, desperate. In need of guidance.

.....That was written yesterday. I never posted it.

Well then, how do I feel right now. Still a bit of those things. But dare I--dare I say, a tinge more hopeful? Hm. .... I'm working on opening myself up to God more. I always have this odd feeling, like I'm not doing something right. Like He's constantly being dissapointed just by my mere existance. Wow. I thought I was being open with Him...or was atleast mostly convinced of that. But thank God I realize it more now. The words another sister in Christ spoke to my late in my last semester of college (this past spring) come back to me, "Open up t oHIm. Let Him in...". And I thought. Well, that's not my problem. I am open with Him. I don't really have to worry about that. ...Guess I thought wrong.

I'm so glad I'm realizing this, that I do need to. It's so sad to think you're walking right when you're really not. So many bad things can come from that. The worst being missing the rapture when you were confidently expecting to make it. God forbid. Let us all check ourselves please. A bit of embarrassment and discomfort and even pain while pouring yourself out in front of your Daddy's throne is so much better than an eternity of banishment because of useless pride or denial (same thing). At least we have His support, help, and everready love with the former. But what would the latter one profit you? Thank you Jesus for these revelations. Keep them coming please.

Hope you all are having a blessed evening or morning or night, depending on your time zone.

*Answer: The mismanagement of my challenges and frequent frustrations was causing me to question God about His feelings/behavior toward me, and have less than faithful thoughts about it all. After telling her this, she responded and gave me a scripture that came into thought of a Bible character who did something similar, John the Baptist. While he was in jail and Jesus had come into town, he sent a messenger to ask Jesus if he was really the Christ. For the story, read Matthew 11:1-9.

O.F.C.J.

A Beautiful Day Out. And Another Summer Adventure.

2010-06-17T18:46:00.007-04:00

Hello ;-) So, I left work--my internship-- early about an hour and a half ago. The boss-lady says I don't have to come in tomorrow, so now I'm thinking about making plans for then.

I am now at a Panera Bread downtown sitting and on my laptop occasionally looking out the window around me. I took pics of the public library on my why in here, because you know, I do that. Randomly stop and take pictures of things I find awesome or nice-looking or interesting in the least.

Chicago is a nice city architecturally, and has much to do, is very big, and has a lot of people to meet. But I'm still not sure it's the place I should be yet.

There's been a lot going while I've been here, in the Chi, and even while I was still in ATL on my way here. It's not something that you can observe outwardly. Like a location. An event. Or a word said. It's been inside mostly. But symptoms have manifested in the physical though. Oh Lawd, this is going to be another exciting summer. What shall I learn next? I can't wait to find out. My last few summers have been quite a trip, though this one has been affected by some measure of human error...*cough* (maybe more on that in the future). They feel like a part of this story I found my self in when I "began" my journey 2 summers ago. And now, I am in the third sequel. So much has taken place since last summer (when I started my blog. Refer to the beginning of it all if you want background). Friendship that had budded the summer before was broken when bits of manipulation were sensed, supported by sheer disobedience and lack of heeding to insight. Solutions to problems have been revealed. My relationship with God has improved and been challenged again and again.

I've faced mistakes I've made and owning up to them--again and again. Hey, apologizing is an art. Practice makes perfect. So much has gone on, and as I speak this to you now, I am in the midst of it. Yes. In the midst. I am no where near done, or at least it doesn't feel that way. God is really doing something, He's working on me, and I am straining the ears of my heart to tear them away from their comfortable music and hear Him. Because His words are so potent. Like a stringent solute burning through my confusion and blindness, leading me to the light I've searched for over and over. Thank you Jesus. I do appreciate you for putting up with me this long. Haha. So patient. I want to be just like Him one day. And by His grace, I will.

I am growing. And He's not through with me yet. I have so much to be grateful for and yet so much more to understand--and then be grateful it for once I do. I can't wait to see the end to this chapter and where it leads to in the next one. *Sigh*. This is exciting.

Let God work on you. It will have some bumpy times and others joyous beyond all joys, and some just plain happy. But I promise, you won't have a dull moment. ;)

O.F.C.J.

Sigh. A Long One.

2010-06-16T21:04:00.026-04:00

Hello

I've not been feeling sunny today as I believe I should. Since this morning, it's been really difficult to stop thinking unhappy thoughts. Angry ones, ticked off, agitated ones. I'm a bit better now, but earlier there was much more. Up until about an hour ago. So many things and people are bothering me. Multiple restaurants serving up crappy food, people not responding the way I believe they should--or at all. Made up (but accurate in manner) memories recurring of "loved ones" being hurtful. Acting up. Internship being stupid. Fake and trivial, trifling people around me. Ugh!!! I think I may be overreacting in some of my thoughts (maybe the ones 2 do w/family....), but it sure does agitate whatever the real reason for this disdain is. Which I believe I may know, for the most part...if not all, or at least some.

It's like Dunkin Donuts is the only one who's been getting it right these days, this day. Uughh. *sigh* Oh delicious donut place of joy and delicious Coolatas. How I do appreciate your yummy on-pointness (they messed up a couple of times a few weeks ago by giving me crappy donuts...but lately it's been quite on-point, and their Coolatas never fail :). And About an hr and a 1/2 ago I went to get a Coolata and the machine wasn't working...but I think that was meant to be. My mind kept saying "Nooo, go home! You already had one today! Go Home!!!!!" And I was like, "Nooooouuu!", and went anyway. ...And then the machine was broken. .....lol.). And Of CoUrSe God is always good. But I feel I'm disappointing Him. Which I'm sure I have been. Not all the time, but at times like these.

But I'm better now. I've settled down after coming from downtown. I went to the Library after work. But I didn't have a card so all I could do was look through the books and see what they had, :'(. Lol.

I've simmered down. I was tired , and just felt like letting down. So I came home after eating a fail meal at Quiznos (so not like the one near my campus when I was in school. smh.). And I must say, I'm happy to be here. Happy I have a bed I can lie/sit down in, and just be here. Or type. Or sing, or sigh, or whatever. I'm happy for that. And I'm happy that God is always there, no matter how crappy everyone/thing else is being or seems. Including me at times. Yay :) SCORE POINTS!!! ....so. Hopefully I get even better before I turn in for the night, and no more peeves take over my being. I pray so.

How was your day?

O.F.C.J.

1 Full Year...And Then Some ;)

2010-06-12T16:49:00.026-04:00

Hello!! OMG. So guess what I just noticed? My 1 year web journal birthday was 5 days ago and I didn't even notice. S. M. H. Just goes to show how exciting things have gotten. Hehe. ;). Oh My Gosh! Well, I am excited and have received a bit of a jolt concerning my blog.

I think back to the time when I created it. Why I created it, and the place (physically and situational-y) I was in at that time. And I think---"Wow. that was truly an exciting--if stressful!!!!!-- time for me." I was going through certain things now that have pass--with others taking their place--and I was sooo pumped about my blog, which I must say, did die down a bit when other things started coming into view. I can't really say I'm too heartbroken concerning that because those things were more important (ehem--college stuff, personal stuff, etc). But I can say that I wish I had done better when I did have the time, and I plan to have more zeal in the future...starting now, by thinking back to all my delicious posts and the reasons for my motivation back then.

SO! Here's what it is today. I am going to pick my favorite posts along with the favorite posts of my readers (which will be chosen by the post with the most comments that month) from each month since last June 'til this May (12 months). I will also post one honorary favorite, ( it will be one of my favorites, but I want to have only 1 item per category, so this one gets its own). F.y.i. the titles of the posts are clickable. Ready? Here we goooooooooooooooooo!

___________________________________________________________________________________________

(1.)

June 2009

My Pick: "Oh how things turn out. I do love"
Reader's Pick: "Oh how things turn out. I do love"

-----------------
(2.)

July 2009

My Pick: "The Updates on the Upgrades"

Reader's Pick: "It's a New Day...of Course!"

-----------------
(3.)

August 2009

My Pick: "Feature alert and other updates (including homicidal uterus)..."
Reader's Pick: "Feature alert and other updates (including homicidal uterus)..."

-----------------
(4.)

September

My Pick: "O. M. G. Moment: Class edition. Redeeming the Embarrassing Moments."
Reader's Pick: "O. M. G. Moment: Class edition. Redeeming the Embarrassing Moments."

-----------------
(5.)

October

My Pick: "Misty Nights...."
Reader's Pick: "AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ....that is all. =^)"

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(6.)

November

My Pick: "Wins, Losses, and Warm Frothy Holiday Dreams."
Reader's Pick: "So Overwhelming. Yet So Full."

-----------------
(7.)

December 2009

My Pick: "Year 22. Going On New."
Reader's Pick: "Breathing Easy, and an Exciting Break...Hopefully... :^\"

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(8.)

January 2010

My Pick: "Awarding, Forwarding, and my life"
Reader's Pick: "1st Week, and Nothing Bleak About it"

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(9.)

February 2010

My Pick: "Preparation, Endeavors, Growth--slow as it may be."
Reader's Pick: "Good Morning. Good Weeking."

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(10.)

March 2010

My Pick: "Finally Trumped the Work Pile. Back on the (Blog) Roll."
Reader's Pick: "Finally Trumped the Work Pile. Back on the (Blog) Roll."

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(11.)

April 2010

My Pick: "Hm. New Day? Idk (what to name this post)"
Reader's Pick: "Hm. New Day? Idk (what to name this post)"

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(12.)

May 2010

My Pick: "Details: Graduation, Celebration, Frustrations: Part 1" (and part 2)
Reader's Pick: "One Girl. Many Whirls."
-----------------

Last but MOST DEFINITELY not least...

Honorary favorite: "The List"
_____________________________________________________________________________________

Yeeeeeaaayaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!! ...lol

So...what's your favorite? I can't really decide which mine is out of all of them; there were so many good ones. But I know the holiday topic-ed ones and the one on my birthday were really awesome. As well as the lists and the earlier written ones. *Sigh* so many choices.

May the next year---psh, few days --be more awesome!!

O.F.C.J.

Lately. Frustration. Dedication. I think I need a Vacation.

2010-06-10T19:11:00.006-04:00

Hello!!

So, I'm well into my internship now, like 3 weeks I believe? And oh my...is it an....experience so far. I'm having some internal dealings with some of the things that have been happening. Other interns. Management. The whole sha-bang. I'm just doing what I can--using initiative, staying strong, uplifted, and disregarding any shade thrown my way-- and waiting for God to work it out. I won't go through it all. but just know that I feel like I'm being tried. No. wait. I AM being tried. Or thumbed on the nose more like. But I tell you, if one more thumb comes near my face...oooooh boy. Anywho. God is good as usual. I am reaching out to Him a lot lately. I've been doing better with that. And my circumstances demand that I do. Oh what He'll do to get me closer to Him. I do love :). I'm still listening for direction non my future, my present, and and anything left. Well, I wonder what turn of events this internship and my life will take the next time I right in.

Tihs summer (like the other lately) is yet another wild adventure!

Stay tuned.

See ya! :D. lol, *sigh...*

O.F.C.J.

Details: Graduation, Celebration, Frustrations: Part 1

2010-05-29T03:28:00.007-04:00

Hello you all! And how are you doing? Well I hope. I've been so irregular on my blog. I almost feel bad...almost. But anywho, I'm at my internship right now, in Chicago. I started last wednesday. Flew in last Tuesday. After so much hectic-ness, I'm finally a settled in. For the most part anyway.

So, I spoke of a few things in my last entry that I said I would touch more on later. Well, I think it may be later.

Let's start with the ending of the semester.

I had been busy with projects, making sure I didn't forefit graduation for a simple enough class, packing, and family and graduation stuff that my stress level was kinda high. Thank you God that it's over now. The last few weeks of my semester were very high frequency. Some sleepless days, a schedule ridiculously filled, and slip ups, compliments of yours truly, popping up every now and again.

EXHIBIT (A): I was supposed to pick up my cap and gown before the big day, and I forgot for all the other fluff going on.

SAVE: They were able to be picked up on graduation day. Yes!

And to make matters more stressful: My dad came to stay with me the night before graduation. I know, it's only a night. Right....? YOu may say so, but I sure did feel every second of it. Especially since I was to be whisked off to D.C. with him for me and my sis's grad celebration (a whole 'nother section) almost immediately my after graduation. The whole weekend was a biiit on edge.

_____________________

Spiritually, I had been going through some troubles. Lack of direction + stubborness + anger= not a good look. But I sure was wearing it. It's OK though. Because I'm being reconciled with my Heavenly Father, and now we're on our way :).
_____________________

So, now to the trip to D.C. ...

It was something else. I'm still recovering from it and a combination of other stuff. Ugh. Oh to be belittled so nonchalantly. Let me tell you. It doesn't feel good. So, I basically felt as if I was a guest at my own celebration.

I and my sister (whom I will later refer to as "C"), who had recently graduated on the same day, were planned to celebrate with my dad at his church (His idea. As I do not know anyone there, and really didn't want to go upstate for it). She had graduated from an M.D., and I from my undergraduate career. During the thanksgiving (the celebration we had at is church) we were on stage with him as he gave his testimonies and what not. It makes sense to point out the achievements of the ones you are celebrating, right? To acknowledge their honors and their successes? To boast of their wins, right? Well, yeah.

But notice how I said their in those past statements, and not her. Notice that, will you?
I know I haven't exactly "reached the highest stars" of academia yet. I'm not a triple deluxe premium five star PhD. (Ummm, and why should I desire to be so?), but I most definitely have my shooting stars ;). *And I thank God for them.

But clearly some people are yet unaware of them. Fine. Either way, I expect that when I am being taken all the way upstate to celebrate my graduation, that I am going to be CELEBRATED, and not an honorable prettily-dressed mention on an itinerary of someone elses achievements. But oh, were my expectations not met. And to think there was ANOTHER event that I so badly wanted to attend back in Georgia that would have ACTUALLY met them. ...AND I MISSED IT TO GO TO D.C.!!! For what???!!!!!!!!?? PLEASE do tell me!!!?? I mean. Yes, of course people congratulated me, and shook my hand and stuff like that. But of course, who do you think the real sincerity of attention was on? My sister of course. I wish I would have been told that it wasn't a celebration for the both of us, and was really for her, and I was just invited. Really. Because then I would have known, "Oh, Ok. We're celebrating her achievement. Great! Awesome! yay :)".

But to think you're going up there for a duo of greatnes, and then be dropped like the so-so hotness for an impromptu monologue...what? I can't blame her , and I don't, of course. I'm proud of her. But him. He spoke for us at this event since he was the initiator. Fine. He started with her, she's the oldest, perfectly fine. He mentioned her program, her title, her honors, an ultra-prestigious group she'd been initiated into, fine, fine, and fine. But here it is. My turn, right? Yay for her, and now for me....right? After talking a little about her degree, and aplausses from the crowd and other things he's saying about her journey and whatnot, he pauses to inject this (pointing to me--and this is not verbatim, but close.), "And she has just graduated with a degree in fashion design with a minor in business --very short pause-- But yes, there are many things "C" has achieved in her time in medical school. I cannot say them all, but I'll list a few of them to give you an idea (holding a paper in front of him, he begins). ...that was me.

Ok. So. What's wrong with this picture? Well first of all, my degree is in fashion mercahndising, not design. I am a business women, not a designer (though I can design, and do so as a hobby). So people were definitley coming up to me for after the thanksgiving constantly saying things like, (the regular...) "Oh! So you're a designer? Niiiice, so I can bring my designs to you so you'll be making me fine clothes, ehn!?" And blah blah blah. ---- No. Comment. But I am slightly humored right now. Even through the insult. There's nothing wrong with being a designer--at all, but can we not get our daughter's degree incorrect at this "celebration"? Hm?

He clearly wouldn't have done all this if it was just my graduation. I know it. Beacasue I'm not the prized cattle. I mean, what she's done is a pretty big deal, I see this. And that is wonderful. But, I mean, why embarrass me like that? So the manifestation of this point of my life that I have gone through various pretty and ugly, soft and harsh moments to garner, isn't anything? Wow.

Funny thing. -->

I'm thinking this is so obvious, right? That clearly I am on the sideline. But lo and behold, no one else noticed. I am sitting here completely bummed out for the rest of the day about this. And my dad is yelling at me for not being happy (Please excuse my incorrect grammar but the moment calls for it: uhhh, is you serious??!) And then my sister is yelling at me later on for having a stinky attitude, talking about how this is a day of joy, and she's trying to be happy (umm, well for you it is, clearly, sooo, I mean....) and I'm bringing everybody down (Oh the irony.), and she and my brother have been trying to figure out what's wrong with me and can't (Are. You. Serious?), and she plans on having a good time, but if I don;'t change, she's not even going to kick me out, she's just going to ignore me and do her thing. And I'm just standing there with the most pissed off look on my face. I didn't even say anything. Just let her finish and went about my business.

I mean, I know she was getting a lot of shine, and with God being given His due glory, of course she deserved it. But could she really not see through that to see what was happening to me? Oh. Wow. I mean, what else can I say? This is the first graduation celebration I've ever had in m life, and I didn't even notice. Ha.

_____________________________________________

To be continued....

*P.S. much time lapsed between when I stared this post and now, so I am not at my internship anymore. Refer to asterisk (*) in the body of the post to see what I started writing today (3 days later).

O.F.C.J.

Details: Graduation, Celebration, Frustrations: Part 2

2010-05-29T03:23:00.004-04:00

Part II: The Atlanta Celebration

So, still recovering from the one in D.C. I was feeling still a bit left out. Things were still under decision regarding what we were going to do, who we were going to invite and all that razz. On that day I decided that I was going to have a good time and be happy for what God had done for me no matter what. When we were at my church in Atlanta, the pastor began to introduce our special thanksgiving after the main sermon had finished, and announced our family, and the names of the celebrants (wasn't on purpose but it still sucks: he forgot my name and the crowd and my mom had to remind him....no further comment, though even I must laugh at this one with a *sigh/ smh *). Later it was time for us to give our individual testimonies. I was call up first (not sure if this was them "being sweet", saving the best for last, or just being strategically considerate...? Hey, what can I say? I'm now forced to think of such things. Psh. Don't look funny.)

So I gave my testimony and was feeling quite fine. I praised God with a heartfelt song as I part of my part in a little covenant I made with Him during a tough predicament I was going through during the end of semester that I told no one about. i finished and sat down. My sister went next. She wasn't as extensive as our dad was, but gave her own testimony and went to sit, but they called her back up to give some words of encouragement to the striving youth and whatnot. She did so, and sat. the whole fam and church celebrated as done in our Nigerian culture. and then our cakes were cute, many more pics taken (paparazzi...I'm saying though. Lol.), and church ended with more pics taken afterwards, and more congrats cards, most with money, given to us by guests and church members.

How did I feel through the whole thing? Alright. I can't say it was all OK because I still felt like there was more emphasis being put on her, and therefore, a bit undermined (to fully understand what I am saying is to also understand the nature of my culture. Sooooo, yeah...). It really is sad when it seems like even when things are attempting to be fair, someone still gets shoved under the bus. It's like they just can't help it because in their eyes, I really don't matter as much. Degree-wise, and for other reasons i won't even begin to go into. I'm just not as valuable to this family, or others. ha. It is so all good. So all good. And d’you know why? Because: what determines the value of an object? The value of the other products on the shelf? The value placed on it by the salesperson? The value the manufacturer originally created it to have through the quality of substances used to make it? If you chose the last answer....you are correct. And who, pray tell, is my manufacturer? Well, who else? God. And thank God for that!

I'm so happy I know Him and know me in terms of Him, else I might be, A) depressed to a point of self destruction and utter despair, B) an egotistical woman whose resorted to becoming "self built" and therefore selfish, or C) various other forms of identity-less, lost, purpose-unfulfilling personalities.

WHOO! THANK YOU JESUS! I know you may not understand why I praise Him like this, so freely and uninhibited. And that is all well. But I sure am glad. Glad that I know someone who loves me and puts great value on my existence (which He ordained, and doesn't seem to regret ;) ) without a second thought. Someone who has plans for me and hopes of a future, and an expected end of greatness (Jeremiah 29:11...you too.) I am happy in Him. Because outside of Him, I (and everyone else, though they may not notice this) am truly no one. Thank you Jesus. All things happen for a reason. Even these fiascos. I am grateful.

So... My internship continues, and I must say, is interesting. But this has been a lot, so I will update on that later.

Always later,

O.F.C.J

One Girl. Many Whirls.

2010-05-13T23:20:00.008-04:00

Hello.

So much is going on right now and has gone on, and I'm not exactly sure that it will be dying down any time soon. Well. lately I've...

Interviewed for a couple of internships. one in Chicago. One in Miami...

Gotten both of them (Glory be to God)...

Chosen the one in Chicago...

Had mental panic attacks about a couple of classes and graduation...

Gone through (and still going through) some things spiritually...

Traveled to D.C. and back... 2x...

Gained a friend I had recently (last semester) "fallen out" with...(OK, so this happened like in March, but i haven't been writing in lately, so I'll include this anywho)...

Gained a new network of "family"...

And Graduated from college.

I'm finished. Thank you Jesus. Yay me :) ...and thank goodness those mental panics were all false alarms. Whoo!

So I graduated on the 8th and now it's the 13th. And in 4 days or less, I am moving to Chicago to begin my scheduled apartment touring (the search has already been underway), and begin my internship!

I've been looking for apartments for a while now. My process is to find possibilities, contact the person, wait for them to contact me back, and then ask question on whatever I feel the need to know that they haven't already told me, and if we get this far, schedule to see the room and apartment when I fly in. I'm finding reasonable prices. thank goodness for financial aid to help with it, especially my scholarship, which covers my tuition and fees (ultra score ;) )

I just pray and hope that everything goes right. I'm kind of---well, a bit--ugh, OK---soooooo stressed. Gosh. I think I'm so stressed I don't even know the magnitude of my stress level. ...I'm not sure. There's a lot going on. I won't cover it all on here. but I will talk about it, I think. Probably not now but eventually. At least while it's still fresh in my mind/life.

Just know it's me related...ha.

Family, God, travel situation, blah, blah, blah. Welp. that about covers it---for now.

Well, for all of the mad confusing angry "bad" that has taken place--and is possibly to take place (we shall see), there had been some good too. Especially on the friendship front.

We fell out last semester over something not so big (it's almost always like that isn't it?). She came over for a Sunday dinner one...well, Sunday, in March. We talked for a long time. We scheduled stuff to do some days after that day, and that one, and that one.... And we smoothly transitioned into a friendship that is better--in my opinion--than the one we shortly had the first time (I had just met her last semester. Didn't last the entire semester.). Now we are closer than we were before and in the best way as well!

She shares if not overpasses my love for Christ, knows what it is to walk it out. Heck. I'm learning from her! You have NO idea.
I'm sort of a mess right now. A hot wan. But anywho.... Yeah! That's been awesome.

I'm not sure I've ever known what it felt like to have a friendship like this one before. I mean one I can relate with in this way. It has a budding sincerity that's not perfection, yet right for the stage that it is in. Well thank god for that, better later (and now) than never! I hope it keeps getting better. It's so different than any of the passed friendships, if I can even call them that, that I've had. It feels--along with my formerly mention new-found network--a bit like a fresh breathe of fresh air. Like I said, I hope it keeps getting better.

Hm. feels better than I though it would updating/writing in my blog. :)

See you later. And with the updates on the numerous stuff of course ;)

O.F.C.J.

God is Good.

2010-04-26T00:33:00.007-04:00

Hello. I just got back home from a weekend trip that represented the finally to a Bible fellowship class, the Process of Purity. We went--well, I can't say exactly because it's a surprise--as it was for us--to the future class participants. But it was amazing. God is amazing and good. there were revelations, both from the new members (me included) and from God to us through His ministers. It was amazing. I had so much fun. fellowship is great, and the devil is a liar. I'm so happy I met the people that I did, and am a part of the new group within the ministry that I am a part of. Each new group from each university (in this case there were 2 present, 3 in all) is a platoon, and has a platoon name adn scripture. I love ours. It really speaks to us. Wow. What a weekend. It was the most beautiful introduction to a group I have ever experienced.

We were served, each with our own assigned servants who were present ministry members. We were in a beautiful location. We were served and fed daily. Clothes need setting out? Ironing? Cleaning? Miscellaneous? Done. Wow. How wonderful it is to be served by your brothers and sisters in the body of Christ. I have a lot of work to do from this moment on now. We all do. !!! I'm so excited, and I pray God keeps my Spirit Man hyped too! *Sight*. Yay :P :).

God is good. And the "process" has just only begun. Faith. Having it. Needing it. Hope, breathing it in. Love, thirsty for it. Drinking from it. Living off, in, from it. God, I love you. I need you. I want you. Now.

Later,

O.F.C.J.

Hm. New Day? Idk (what to name this post)

2010-04-13T15:27:00.007-04:00

HELLO!

I just left class about 1.5 hours ago. I had an interview today for a company in Chicago, but she called to reschedule for next week. I'm excited. Because I think it may have happened for a deeper reason. I have another interview with a company in Miami this Thursday. I got the call yesterday that I was selected to be interviewed if i was still "interested in the position". Uhh, YEAH I'M STILL INTERESTED! LoL. But really though. I love what God is doing in my life. I'm so looking forward to this. Fear has been trying to get in the way through various mediums, but I'm taking it by the horns and flinging it to the next hemisphere of another planet 2 parallel universes away. ...Or something like that. He he :). Any who, God is good.

I hosted an event within 1 of my organizations yesterday. After a scare that no one would show up, it went down decently. Thank God, once again. I'm telling you, I was about to be afraid I would start hearing crickets soon. Man. But in all that, I still thought to myself, "I can't wait to be in my career field, building strategies and planning such events (Event planning is not my field, but it is a part of it). The college crowd can be unpredictable and rough. Some times it can be all good, depending on who's promoting, and other times, there are "coincidentally" 3 other events taking place, and yours takes the back burner. Well, I thank God for my success, learn from the failures, and And very, VERY grateful for the close calls. It's. All. Good.

In a few words: It is well with my soul.

I'm off to do some reading now and then maybe a bit more and a nap.

What I would kinda like to do later, leisure-wise:

1. Go to the sauna (my schools Recreational Activity Center, aka: The Awesome (lol), has one :) Still haven't used it yet!!)

2. Go to the pool: (Once again, at The Awesome) But I don't have a bathing suit, not that I'd be swimming (seeing as I can't) or anything. You know, just wading and frolicking. But still, I don't skinny dip sooo.... Yeah. A bathing suit would be necessary. I've been having the inclination to go for a bit, but I've nothing to improvise with! gahh! Lol. It's all good though ;)

3. Hmmm, I don't know, maybe hit up the beach (an hour away): I don't really have a deep desire to do this (not that I hate the beach, though it never used to thrill me like it thrills most. It just depends on what I'm doing there.), but I saw some fb event invites being held at the beach and that got me thinking. I may just want to lounge in something of a sunny atmosphere (like the one outside now), with cool blue waters and maybe a cute suit and a smoothie.

...Hmm....We'll see if and when that happens.

Tata for now ;^)

Ciao!

O.F.C.J.

Up at Night. Random Fires Breaking Out and Stuff. LoL.

2010-04-06T01:15:00.006-04:00

HELLO! So, a random (for all we know so far) fire just broke out outside of my residence hall, right outside of my apartment near some trees. The alarm went off even though the fire was outside, good system.

I had just finished studying and decided I was finally going to get something to eat--chicken mushroom Alfredo--yum. But that was interrupted when the alarm blared off, and thinking, "what a coincidence. I don't even have to turn on the stove. I just pull a pot out the fridge and the alarm sets off now. Ha!" I have a little history, along with one other of my roomies (I have 3) of cooking and setting of the alarm with smoke (in my defense, the system is a bit sensitive. But better sensitive then callus and charred! Lol.). So I'm thinking this is a drill. OK. I put the food back inthe fridge (in hopes the roomies won't think it was me this time), let the roomies know it is the real thing when they come out of their rooms, and head to mine to pick up my phone, lock my room, and we head out....along with the rest of the building. I'm guessing everyone must not have been home because it didn't seem like the full 4 floors.

So Everyone's thinking it's a drill, until we're walking towards the parking lot as instructed by the CLs (RAs), and we see a fire beside the building (it didn't touch the building, thank GOD!!).

And then....

BOOM!

We all hear a loud noise--don't know what it was--but trust that we all started walking just a little faster.

It was kinda funny :P lol

So, I'm back inside as of about 35 minutes ago.

Yay. Thank God it didn't touch my apartment. What grace.

Just thought I might take this event as an opportunity to update the blog.

And, late, but; HAPPY EASTER!!!

Later!

O.F.C.J.

Home Again. On the "Road" Again.

2010-03-17T06:59:00.013-04:00

Hello! I'm back home for spring break...well for a little while :) I'll be leaving for D.C. in a day, or is it today? Wow, a MESS! Ha. But yeah. I've been enjoying my break a bit. I got to see my little cousins today, and as ever, they were SOO Cute!!! The little baby has grown yet again, and I can't recognize him :( Well, a little, but he's changed. I've never seen a child change that much before. It's like his face looks different. I look the same as my 2yr aged pic of me. Maybe weird? Oh well.

Well, so after being on the Greyhound for hours, I'm home. I've actually been home since yesterday (literally about 15 hours ago). I'm feeling....Ok. Feeling like I've got a little work to do here and there. School-wise, and me-wise and many places. First in career- I have to find an internship and have it approved before May 1st, that's my degree programs deadline for this spring's graduates doing summer internships, i.e. --me.

I like where God is taking me. Where he has me going. He's taken me through a journey, indeed, is taking me through one. And boy, is it exciting, interesting, scary, and so much more. I look to when I will be perfected. Finally be perfected from where I am now. I know that the next few months will be so very interesting, I can only hope (and this is positive hope, not the worldly "Oh, well I sure hope so" hope. It's Biblical. Get with it ;^) ) and work towards the goal that this "interesting" will be a good one, and not of sadness, gloom, and failure. Yuck, none of that. There are definitely some challenges I am facing, and they rear the ugly--SO SO UGLY--head of fear and paralyzation by and through fear threatening that I will not successfully conquer, but bitterly and sadly be crumbled by them. And I reject it. That's simply it. I CANNOT have this type of crappy living. Seriously. How can one live a beautiful, overwhelmingly full (almost like, say, carbonated joy...)life when such fear takes over them and their heeding to it does not allow them to do that which would free them from it. What a catch 22!

Well! I, for one, good sirs and misses, cannot, will not, shall not and won't succumb to this. There may be times when I fall, oh yes, but I will most DEFINITELY get straight up, dust off, maybe give a big deep sigh and roll my eyes, and then keep on strutting towards the awesome light. I just have to. Do you see failure as being an option? NO, really. Could you really imagine yourself living like that? Just living just like that (and I mean this with utter, utter disgust)? Mediocre, bitter, always wondering what could have would have been? And knowing--the worst part--that it actually could have, and would have been, if you hadn't been so complacent and/or succumbed to your enemy's tactic--fear? Let us not, I say dear children. LET. US. NOT.

Ehem. So. Yeah. I am feeling like I have a future right about now. And a good one, one to be taken by force (for we know that the Kingdom suffereth violence and the awesome--ehem, I mean violent, taketh by force). I am still putting my efforts in the right place. Just add more consistency (hey, nobody lies a lumpy cake) and we're off! Even faster than before.

Ha. And here I was thinking I didn't have anything to type. LIES! Haha.

Well then, update cha later on...well, whatever!

Luegos,

P.S. In case you didn't see, the photo shoot pictures from my magazine project are up and in the last post.

O.F.C.J.

Finally Trumped the Work Pile. Back on the (Blog) Roll.

2010-03-12T18:16:00.015-05:00

Hello All! I've been working on homework and projects and many an assignment, and just wasn't feeling the posting. But now I'm back. Remember that Magazine project I said I was doing? Done. :)) And I'll have some pics from the photo shoot posted at the end of this too.

So what's happened? Well a few days ago, someone from my 2nd grade class whom I didn't even remember contacted me on fb. It was interesting because she tagged me in the school picture-day album she had, which was also tagged with many of my other former school mates. It was so interesting to see how they turned out. Wow, 15 years and many states later, and I'm "seeing" them again, pretty awesome.

Many things have gone on in my personal life, I've met new people, and then have become disconnected with some of them...still don't know why, lol. But OK. Leave me in wonderment why don't you??! But it's all good. Kind of offended at first, but that's brushed off. :) Others are still cool, and I'm enjoying knowing them so far...let's hope it stays that way.

My walk with God is getting stronger, more clear. YAY. Like, seriously. I hate confusion. ...It sucks.

I took a test for a class and Glory be to the very most High and His Right Hand "Man", I got a perfect score. In another class, I made a good grade, but hope to do better next time. I wasn't sure about it when I took it, but I ended up being 3rd in the class. Definitely room for improvement though :)

Jesus is good, as always. Ja. Spring Break has begun for me. I'll be at school for a while, willingly and happily, chillin'. And then I'll go home, and then travel for my sister's graduation from grad school. I've been so uninvolved with my blogroll, I have stacks of them waiting for me. It's like even when I did have time, I just was like, "heh? Oh.... meh." But now that I have a break maybe I'll get at that.

Well, what else? Well, like I said, a lot has gone on so clearly I won't be recounting it all on here. But yeah, I paid for my diploma and cap and gown, so that'll be on for the pick-up soon.

My sleep habits are better now, so these classes, especially my 8AM, won't be kicking my but anymore. Sooo................. YEAH! That's about I have to recount for now.

Here are the pics. The model is an acquaintance of mine. Her make-up was done by a make-up artist I garnered through another acquaintance (what a help!). The clothes all belong to the model, I was casual photographer, and the location is my school's library. I will not be putting the whole magazine on here, just the pictures from the shoot.

Enjoy! ;)

I placed her in a new background using Photoshop. It's still in the library, but I took this pictures days before the shoot. I also enhanced the blue in her eye-liner. I only touched up the blue eyeliner in this one, none of the others. I was So proud of myself.

I edited all of these (nothing too drastic) using either Photoshop or Powerpoint.

This one (the blue) she's standing on a window ledge. And wow those heels. She is such a brave soul. And a trooper too. We stayed up all night doing her make-up and taking shots. I took about 170 frames, not including the behind the scenes ones of her getting her make-up done.

Sassy Madam Lol.

Fin!!

Arrivederci,

O.F.C.J.

Good Morning. Good Weeking.

2010-02-20T12:41:00.015-05:00

Hello all. I feel happy. I thank God for His existence. Things are well. This week has been an interesting one. An interesting one indeed, though I may not be able to dig--or be willing to anyway--to recall all those things that made it so. Monday I studied for a test. Stayed up reading for a quiz on Tues. Tuesday We didn't take that quiz. I studied for my test on Wed. some more. I applied for an internship with a marketing company and stayed up looking for more of them to do likewise. I made progress on my magazine project--finally have the clothes/shoes/accessories for the shoot.Wednesday I took my test. I believe I aced it. Thank God. I went to a club meeting, I went to Bible-study, and I went to the Recreational Activity Center ("RAC" from henceforth) and stair-glided for an hour, then crunched a bit. Then went home and chilled with a friend.

Thursday I went to classes, of course; did Quiznos for lunch, then went home. Took part in a classroom activity where each of us, going down the rows of desks, disclosed our point of view on abortion, and why we had it. I amongst a sea of flounders, was a sea horse or at least I felt. A couple had "the same" or similar opinions, but none as strong, or put forth the same way as mine, and for that, once again, I felt different. Nothing wrong with that of course. Class ended eventually, with a conversation regarding a statement made by a couple on how life wasn't that expensive, that is to say: it isn't that precious; We come, we kill, we go. I begged to differ. The class dismissed. I headed home. Prayed. Had an internship search assistance appointment and also got my resume' and cover letter brushed up.

Friday, no classes to attend to. Thank God. I gave two campus tours (university ambassador, f.y.i.); AM & PM, and did all that that entailed. Went home in between them. Finally finished all and went home and chilled a bit. Nipped on Ritz crackers with a block of Cacique cheese. Yum. Then had company and delved into the vague, if not unknown of a difficult and stimulating conversation on a complex situation. All for the win of course. God's will was done. Also, finally got an artist for hair and make-up for my model. Yay. Every thing's coming together, shoot is on Tuesday and possibly Thursday as well.

Today. Woke up early unintentionally. Did a conference Bible study with other students across the States. Delved into what I learned and had written down, and read my Bible a little. And now... I'm about to go do my homework...at a "park"(or field for lack of a better term) at my school. It's beautiful really, thick landscaped green grass, Magnolias, Palms, Oaks and miscellaneous (to me) trees. I will miss this place when I graduate.

Good day ;)

O.F.C.J.

Yeah yeah yeah, ;)

2010-02-12T19:41:00.009-05:00

Hello. It's snowing. Non-interesting fact. Unless you live about 2 hours from Florida, 7 from Miami. Yeah, that's pretty interesting. *I love it when it snows*

I can hear the yells of ppl outside. I just got home a few minutes ago from a stroll and an evening dinner event I'm guessing must have been cancelled for the weather. People eat in the snow too!!! ugh. I'm just more dissapointed that I went and didn't know it was cancelled. But any who, thank God I can cook.

This week has been a good one. Interesting, eventful, and more active (socially) than usual...meetings don't count.

Everyone's outside, or going out, minutes being spent on cell services calling back and forth with "have you seen!...", "Are you going outside?...", and "I'll meet you in the....". I'm guessing I'll be seen as mass of pictures and such pretty soon. Aside from mine of course.

Hmmm... pondering. ...a few of my teeth hurt...my throat is starting to hurt...I feel as if I should be hanging out with ppl right about now...I need to use all my bread before it goes to waste...yesterday was kind of awesome ;) ;)...I still need to find an internship...this weekend is going to be busy...this girl didn't do my hair correctly, grrr--and now she's going to fix it!...I've been thinking about getting rain boots and kid gloves...People. they can be so annoying, but they're still necessary--good, and not-so-good...I haven't eaten real food today yet, how unhealthy...kind of wish I and someone to throw snow at tonight...wait, I might;hehehe...maybe I'll do cocoa tonight and act like it's Christamas season just for the feeling. ...Hey, a girl can dream...movie, popcorn, solo?...I still have a photo shoot to shoot...don't know what I'm doing for spring break yet...I'm feeling......eh, nevermind ;)

Well, I have a meal to finish preparing.

Tata.

O.F.C.J.

Preparation, Edeavors, Growth--slow as it may be.

2010-02-02T23:24:00.014-05:00

Hello! Wow, it's February already. ---WoW...it's February...ALREADY.... O my gosh. I wrote it, and then I thought it. I am really getting out of here soon. "Here" being school. I am currently in the process (like currently.... 4 minutes ago currently) of scouring internship opportunities for my degree program, and of course more importantly--for the relevant and awesome experience. I really pray that I confirm it before the end of March, even though it's not due until May.

So, what's been going on with you all? How's life? What is new?
With me, my classes have been good but a bit slippery. It's not that they're overly difficult, but I happen to be quite a butter fingers in handling them lately.

1st off, my biological clock is so off. I've been staying up--since Christmas break--really late. Like until 4, 5, 6 Am. Well, not 6 Am lately, but late nonetheless. It's causes me to miss classes by oversleeping, and or be late. I've never been this consistently horrible at managing my sleep and time before. Yuck. I've got to fix that. Certain nights staying up late isn't a problem because I wake up later than usual for classes anyway. But for those 6 and 7 Am wake up days, it's trouble. So. I'm definitely going to get a hold on that quickly. I'm such a nocturne. Oh well, looks like I'll have to be doing more during the day than of class, errands, meetings, surfing (the net) and naps. That'll be new.

In other news, my spiritual journey towards a deep relationship with my Father , aka God, is challenging, but I am winning--as I have not given up. I feel more strength coming up if I keep this strive up, which I will. Currently I'm looking forward to group bible studies that I'll be able to attend next week. I love fellowship especially with peers, for the simple fact that I get to relate with young people like me who are experiencing the same challenged, but meeting them with the same answers--the Word of God. I am currently in the process of uncovering and understanding and absorbing His love for me, ans it's good to have people to relate to during such an endeavor. Thank God for that. What horrid meaningless emptiness of loneliness, unsurity, sadness, and straight madness I would have to face without His love. ............................WELL, good thing I don't have to go through that! HAHA!!!!! Score. Getsommadat (seriously :) ). U-know-u-want-to ;)

Well, Nighty night!

O.F.C.J.

Overwhelming Fullness Like Carbonated Joy

Oh ya ya ya ya, Ah love my life! : Unchartered Waters

I Could Really Use...

Thoughts On My Health

HELLLOO!!

It's Official.... :)

P.S. Longer Letter Later

Status Update

What's My Business?

Vacation

I Love Retreats! And Other Things.

Bored in the City....

Wrap Me In Your Arms...

Supernatural Body Wash

Update on the Fuse Pop Sitch

Pop Goes The Fuse

We Are the Nation. We Are The the Turning Point. We Are Nigeria.

I'm Changing My URL Because...

Hello Everybodaaay!

Changed URL

Oh My Gosh

It's the Weekend

New Day, A Sky-Blue Day!

O my gosh, *sigh*

Quality Control: Inactive Followers

My First Day at Work!

New Indeed... :)

Happy Birthday!! ;-D

Cliff Hangers: A Few Answers Part 2

Cliff Hangers: A few Answers.

Surprise!!

WARNING!

Out & About, and Taking Deep Mental Breathes....

Re-Modeling. While everything else is getting a revamp... :)

Stay-tus

I'm Here!

It's Time To Go

The Program. Step by Step ;)

Hello...Update!

Happy Nigerian Independence Day!

Special Delivery :)

Preparation Pains.

My Current Disposition

Almost Almost There

So Much

I Am...

Ummm...I think I'm Ready!!

My Status; In More Ways Than One.

Wake Up. A Letter To Myself and All Else

It's OVER!!

Not To Stop.

Upgrading. One "State" to Another.

Floating

Ghana Must Go....To The Finals. Or so I wanted. *siiiiiighhh*.

Today is the Day that the Lord has Made

Delusionment

A Beautiful Day Out. And Another Summer Adventure.

Sigh. A Long One.

1 Full Year...And Then Some ;)

Lately. Frustration. Dedication. I think I need a Vacation.

Details: Graduation, Celebration, Frustrations: Part 1

Details: Graduation, Celebration, Frustrations: Part 2

One Girl. Many Whirls.

God is Good.

Hm. New Day? Idk (what to name this post)

Up at Night. Random Fires Breaking Out and Stuff. LoL.

Home Again. On the "Road" Again.

Finally Trumped the Work Pile. Back on the (Blog) Roll.

Good Morning. Good Weeking.

Yeah yeah yeah, ;)

Preparation, Edeavors, Growth--slow as it may be.

O my gosh, sigh

Ghana Must Go....To The Finals. Or so I wanted. siiiiiighhh.